Category: Guest-Writers

Written By: Lizi Oates

I look at the clock. 11:45, finally lunchtime. My 10 year old brain is still humming as I put my books in my desk, fix a pleat in my uniform skirt and walk across the room in search of my backpack. My hook is on the far wall of our classroom, at the Christian private school I attend. The other students in my small grade 4/5 split class race to their hooks for their lunch pails. My eyes scan the wall;

Power Rangers, SpongeBob, and Arthur themed lunch packs hang on almost every hook. My eyes land on my all-to-familiar, faded, hand-me down backpack. I pull out a plastic grocery bag and quickly go back to my desk. As I look around at Lunchables, Twinkies and Dunkaroos, I brace myself for what I would find in my own lunch today. I quickly open the bag, unwrap a corner of my plastic wrapped lunch and sheepishly take a bite, trying to eat into the plastic bag. I try to avoid the all too familiar scenario of friends seeing my lunch, making a face and again asking, “uhh, what are you eating?”

You see, my immigrated Romanian parents felt it uncecessary to buy balony and cheese, but would send me and my other eight siblings to school with the same Romanian food we ate at home. That day mom made my lunch. I had watched her dip fresh bread in egg, season it and fry it to piping hot (Pita cu ou for any fellow Romanians out there); you might call it a version of french toast. Other days I would open that plastic Food Basics bag and find anything from cabbage rolls and sausage on a bun to boiled eggs with sour cream sauce.

I vividly remember my anxiety as I sat there eating my homemade, ethnic lunch everyday during elementary school. It was a constant reminder that no matter how funny or cool I had been with my friends that day, I came from a very different country, nationality and family.

What I didn’t know then was that my strong cultural heritage would become one of the greatest blessings in my life. The uniqueness of my Romanian family has become one of the things I am most proud of. Ironically, my four sisters and I have spent countless unforgettable hours in the kitchen with my dear mom, learning to make the same foods that I used to be so self conscious about.

My parents immigrated to Canada twenty years ago from a communist country clutching onto nothing but their children and faith in God. They brought with them a rich culture that has been instilled in my heart and will forever be one of my greatest blessings in life. I am eternally grateful for the privilege to be a part of such a rooted, Godly, rich family!

So this thanksgiving, while your family might be gathered around a table eating turkey, stuffing and ham, the twenty-person Muresan clan will be crowded around two tables packed with Chicken snitzel, cabbage rolls, garlic dip, boiled eggs and a massive display of homemade pastries. I am thankful for my heritage.

I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for the moments we spend together, and I wouldn’t trade them for all the Lunchables the world.

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About Lizi Oates:

Lizi Oates is a twenty-five year old Preschool teacher who loves baking, singing and winter snow. She is married to Kyle and pregnant with their first baby! Jesus has changed her inside out and is continuing to amaze her everyday!

Written By: Taylor Whitlow

It so happens that expectations rarely turn out as they were previously conceived. When my parents thought they were having one child, they were blessed with two: one “normal” and one disabled with severe Autism Spectrum Disorder. My brother Kyle’s lack of ability to communicate, contain emotions, and live “normally” proved to be a huge obstacle growing up, and even is today. Regardless, experiencing God’s work through Kyle has been invaluable to me and I would not change my situation for the world.

Individuals living with high-strung Autism are often times very routine-oriented. Every day consists of the same schedule and when that routine is broken, tempers fly. This often caused issues in public. Outbursts, screaming, tantrums – both my family and strangers in the grocery store experienced it all. Kyle definitely stood out in a crowd when issues began to arise. I mean, what 14 year old throwing a tantrum in the middle of Target wouldn’t draw attention? Upon further thought, this situation made me realize that Jesus also stood out in a crowd. Jesus performed miracles that made crowds stare. No ordinary person could heal the man with a withered hand in Mark 3, or feed over five thousand men and their families with barely enough food for one man in John 6. In this way, I experienced God’s work directly through my twin brother.

In every situation my brother finds himself in, he remains the same. At home, school, or at the mall, he is authentic in who he is. No matter who he is around, Kyle is not ashamed to be himself. He never hides his disability, nor tries to be someone he is not. When thought of in this way, Jesus parallels quite well to my brother. No matter who Jesus was around – his disciples, Pharisees, or even tax collectors – Jesus did not fake who he was. God loves unconditionally and never changes his attributes. (Malachi 3:6) He is who He is. He does not change, for He is the never changing God.

Throughout my childhood, I prayed for Kyle’s recovery so he could turn “back to normal” every night before I fell asleep. I longed for “normalness” and stability. But today, looking back on those nights of prayer, I thank God things stayed as they were. As time progressed and hardships became more frequent and pressing, I realized that this is God’s plan for my family and I learned to love. I learned to love Kyle’s quirks. I learned to love the abundance of irrelevant ramblings that spew from his mouth. I even learned to love his tantrums. Without these things, I would not have experienced God’s work so prominently in my life. I learned how God loves unconditionally, despite disabilities or setbacks. Through all the muck, God’s love shines through. We as Christians are to strive to achieve this level of love and commitment – to mirror God’s compassion and love for all.

Despite the multitude of challenges Kyle has given our family along the way, I refer to my brother as a blessing. I am so grateful he was put into my life and that God chose me of all people to be his twin sister. He has taught my family and I so much and has revealed God’s likeness to me in so many ways. For God’s plan and my brother alike, I am truly grateful.

About Taylor Whitlow:

 

Taylor is an 18 year old Senior in high school. She enjoys listening to music and playing violin. She plans to major in Graphic Design next year. She has a twin brother that has Autism.

Written By: Nichole Howson

Just over a year ago my whole life came crashing down (you can read my story here!

I hit rock bottom and had to begin rebuilding my life (you can read my recovery story here! ) I couldn’t do this alone and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all the people who helped me through.

To the family I lived with in Belleville. I want to thank you for being there through those two long and difficult nights. I want to thank you for still loving me even though I turned your whole life upside down. I want to thank you for your continual support and friendship. I will never be able to thank you enough.

To the wonderful family friend whom jumped into action and got in contact with my parents. You saved my life. I will forever be indebted to you. Thank you for your prayers and for caring. I love you so much.

To the Doctors, Nurses and Crisis Workers in the Windsor Hospital. Thank you for your service. Thank you for being the response team that so many people desperately need. Furthermore, thank you for listening, helping and encouraging. In a very stressful and terrifying time you offered the support that my family and I needed.

To my doctor and the team of psychologists… your job cannot be easy. I never realized how many people struggle with the same things as I did until I needed you. Thank you for being the eyes, the ears and voice behind those who struggle with mental illness.

To the lady whom counseled me in her living room. I was so sick when I moved home and full of hurt and anger. Your prayers and guidance brought me to a place where I was able to forgive, let go and become whole. You led me back to a place where I could pray and trust God again. Thank you.

To the pastoral staff at my church. Thank you for your prayers and for listening when I needed someone to talk to. I needed the prayer and I knew that I could count on you for the encouragement and biblical wisdom.

To my blogging team at Defying Shadows… My blog was my therapy. It was my way of working through all the things I was struggling with and helped me get to my place of healing. I could never have gotten there without the help of you beautiful women. I love you all.

To my best friend Jossie. I called you constantly, talking about what I was going through, ranting and asking for advice. Thank you for your listening ear and for your endless friendship. Thank you for the hundreds of giggle filled phone chats. Thank you for the mini vacations to your end of town where I could get away from the stress.

To my siblings. When I moved home your worlds came screeching to a halt. Life got much more difficult before it got better. But you three beautiful souls didn’t take it out on me. You were supportive. You showed love and compassion. You became some of my closest friends. I want to thank you in advance for being supportive through my bad days and for continuing to love me… even if I am a pain in the butt sometimes.

To my parents. You two are the strongest people I know. You took care of me, build me back up when I couldn’t stand on my own and welcomed me back into your home with open arms. You didn’t get angry about my bad decisions. All you cared about was my safety. You make me a better person. I don’t know where I would be without you. Thank you.

To everyone else in my life. Thank you for being a part of this crazy journey. If you’re new here…. Buckle up… the ride is just getting started.

About Nicole Howson:

Nichole is a Social Media Marketing Manager, student, daughter and friend. She’s working on her Marketing Diploma and has a Certificate of Christian Theology. She is an avid coffee lover who enjoys a good movie or book. She takes great joy in organizing, scheduling, and volunteering. Her passion for volunteerism extends specifically to those who are hurting, whether it is emotionally, physically, or mentally.

Written By: Cindy Justice

I am truly grateful for my husband, Kevin, for the blessings of sharing the past 27 years of marriage and our two wonderful daughters, Carmen and Camille. Watching them grow, laugh and dream keeps things in perspective.

Other things I’m grateful for:

1. It is important to take time and be grateful. My best advice I received is a marriage is

100 percent by both the husband and wife. Don’t ever take things for granted.

2. Good health is also at the top of this list. Take care of yourself.

3. Spend your money wisely.

4. Always remember your parents…they gave you life.

5. Enjoy the weekends…make them magical.

6. Make some mistakes…it’s a great learning experience. We grow smarter over time. Laugh ALOT at your mistakes…Without laughter, the world would be a sad place.

7. I am grateful for a place to call home and the freedoms our armed forces have given us to live in the USA (because we know…freedom isn’t free).

8. Dream…The moon and stars encourage us to dream. Don’t forget to breathe in some fresh air. Sunshine always brightens my day.

9. Also, our friends which we have shared this crazy journey called life that has been

abundantly marked by the grace and mercy of God. Focus on your friendships. It’s the quality not the quantity.

Hebrews 12:28

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,

and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and

supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And

the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts

and your minds in Christ Jesus.

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Written by Wayne & Renee Mills

We want to share with you what we call Darryn’s Story. Darryn is our third child.  Our other two children are Ryan and Michelle who were 7 and 5 at the time of Darryn’s birth.

As all parents do, we prayed every day for our unborn baby’s health and development (especially since Renee had miscarried twice before).  Things seemed to be progressing along normally and the day finally arrived.  On May 19, 1995 Darryn was born, but seemed to be struggling to breathe and looked a little grey to us.  With an oxygen tube in front of his face, he would pink up a little bit, but then soon after the greyish colour would reappear and he continued to struggle to breathe.  Upon our continued insistence that he was in trouble the nurse took him to the NICU to be “observed”. Little did we know that we would not be bringing our baby boy home until he was two months old.

Once brought to the NICU Darryn was intubated and would remain on a ventilator for the next 19 days.  Numerous tests were done and it was discovered that his kidneys were not working. It was decided that he would need to be sent to Children’s Hospital of Western Ontario (CHWO) in London to diagnose the reason his kidneys were not working and to try to remedy the problem. This is the point that we realized how critically ill he really was.  At three days of age Darryn was transported to CHWO by helicopter while we drove the 2 hour trip white knuckled, praying all the way.

At CHWO Darryn underwent many more tests and procedures to try to challenge his kidneys to work, but to no avail.  When he was 12 days old his doctor decided that a biopsy needed to be done.  It was determined that his kidneys had not developed while he was in the womb, and that they would never be able to function. We were told that he would have to be put on dialysis until he was big enough for a kidney transplant, or we could let nature take its course.  In simpler terms, we could intervene or let him die. Darryn underwent another procedure to insert a dialysis catheter and started dialysis that very same day.  We didn’t yet know all this would entail, but leaving our precious baby to die was definitely not an option for us.

With each day of dialysis performed, Darryn’s blood was cleansed from the harmful poisons that had been building up from his lack of kidney function.  Two days later we were able to hold him for the first time since his birth.  Even though he was still on the ventilator, the nurses took the time to make sure that we were able to bond with Darryn now that he wasn’t as critically ill.

Once dialysis was started he was able to receive breast milk through an NG tube. Up until this time he was only receiving tiny amounts of IV fluids because his body could not eliminate fluids on its own.

As time went on, Darryn’s lungs developed enough that he was able to breathe on his own and the ventilator was removed when he was 19 days old.  Then came the daunting task of seeing if he would be able to breastfeed or bottle feed.  The majority of babies on dialysis do not have any desire to do either and are fed through a permanent G tube.  The fact that he was able to breast feed is a miracle and almost unheard of.

During our time in the hospital we experienced a gamut of emotions.  Not knowing if he was going to survive when he was being airlifted to London.  One older nurse mistakenly telling us that they cannot do dialysis on babies.  His doctor telling us that Darryn would not die on his shift.  These were the days where we also felt the peace that cannot be explained or understood.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7

It is something that can only be experienced while going through difficult times where you know God has you completely in the palm of his hand.  It is a time when you can approach the throne of grace at the bedside of your child in the NICU.

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.  John 14:27

Once Darryn was healthy enough to be discharged from the hospital we were trained how to do the dialysis at home.  They loaded us up with our dialysis machine and filled our van full of supplies to take with us.  That day couldn’t come soon enough for us to bring our sweet baby home. As time went on Darryn had to overcome many obstacles like minimal growth, physical delays, infections and hospitalizations, but through it all we knew that God was holding him in the palm of His hand.

Throughout this time we were constantly praying for our MIRACLE – that Darryn’s kidneys would miraculously be healed and begin to function as they should.  The thing is – we aren’t able to see God’s big picture – and as we look back we see many “smaller miracles” that God definitely performed for our son.

When Darryn was 3 and one-half years old he was finally big enough to have his transplant.  Wayne was able to donate one of his kidneys in a 7 hour operation at Toronto’s Sick Kids Hospital.  Darryn was in the hospital for one month and we needed to stay in Toronto for an additional month while his anti rejection meds were regulated and his new kidney was monitored to make sure it was functioning well.

Another blessing was having willing family members to take care of our two older children, both when we were gone when Darryn was in London and when he had his transplant in Toronto. We have often wondered “How can people go through things like this without the Lord?”  Not a day goes by that we don’t see the grace of God since we have a walking miracle living in our own home. The years have come and gone and our lives have changed dramatically. We are not the same people who drove to the hospital in Windsor just 20 years ago hoping to be home a couple days later with our newborn baby. Our journey continues and we find ourselves stronger and more appreciative of the blessings in our lives. Things that used to be important just don’t seem to be a priority any more. Our marriage is stronger and our children know that our God is alive and still working miracles. We are so thankful to the Lord for walking our journey with us.

Darryn’s story does not end here.  Just last December he was diagnosed with cancer in his brain. We are so, so grateful to God for healing Darryn.  Check out this post as he shares from his heart how the Lord has brought him through this journey.

About Wayne & Renee Mills:

Wayne & Renee Mills have been married for 29 years.  They have 3 children: Ryan (28) who is married to Faith, Michelle (26) who is married to Jeremy, and Darryn (20).  They are also the proud Papa and Nana to 2 beautiful grandchildren:  Dillon (4) and Emma (2).  They are always happy to share about their journey with Darryn so that someone else might be encouraged.

Written By: Monique Pye

Living with a grateful heart allows you to see God’s many blessings He has so richly given to us and it provides a way for more joy and peace to come into our lives. When I was asked to write a post about “Gratefulness”, I began to think about something that I could share with you that I was grateful for, but not one thing stood out above others. Because there is not just one thing I’m grateful for, but many things.

I’m grateful for God’s grace.
I’m grateful for my husband who loves me unconditionally.
I’m grateful for my three beautiful children.

I’m grateful for friends who encourage me.

I’m grateful for God’s forgiveness.
I’m grateful for the first sip of coffee in the morning.
I’m grateful for hearing laughter in my house.
I’m grateful for learning from my mistakes.
I’m grateful for my parents.
I’m grateful that my sister is my best friend.
I’m grateful for each good-night kiss.
I’m grateful that The Lord has provided my husband with a wonderful job so that I am able to serve my family first as a stay at home mommy.

I’m grateful for exactly what I have. Because without God, I would have nothing…John 3:27 tells us,
“No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven.”

These are just simple things, that sometimes get overlooked in the busy-ness of my day, and I’m grateful that this post has given me the opportunity to sit and reflect on the many things that God has blessed me with, and for that I am grateful!

About Monique Pye:

Monique is a coffee-loving, Friends-quoting, Jesus-loving lady. Born and raised in Essex County, Ontario, she has been married to her hubby Jeff for 8 years. Jeff and Monique have three children; Josh (6), Matthew (4), and Breanna (2). Monique serves her family first as a stay-at-home Mommy and she also serves her local church in various ways. She enjoys scrapbooking, baking and crochet. If she’s not caring for one of the above- you can find her obsessing over keeping everything organized and tidy.

Written By: Lois Prindler