Written By: Kerrington Sweeney
You suck. You hurt. You lie. You steal. You kill. You destroy.
dictionary.com defines it as this: “a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.”
Perfectionism is a deadly play ground to step into. It’s demands upon ones self and others. It is filled with unreasonable expectations, that can never be attained here on earth.
The areas that perfectionism often attacks in my opinion would be…(This being more specifically geared to women. Since that is the audience we most reach.)
Our Relationships. Everyone is always setting a standard. Actually no, these standards have already been set! They are not even personal standards, these are worldly standards feeding perfectionists with garbage. Because we all know everyone wants the “title” of being the insta-worthy looking couple and to be honest, it is literally something I have even personally tried to attain. To look a certain way as a couple, to act a certain way, and to be married in a PERFECT amount of time, etc. It adds so much unnecessary stress to you and your partner.
Our Bodies. The lies that people can speak at times can be deeply wounding to a persons heart who is struggling with perfectionism but, isn’t winning in the area of physical body perfectionism. The media, the movies, the expectations and the standards that are placed on women of “what we should look like” , “what we should dress like” , “what we should act like.” Its disgusting and sickening to me. All of the things that they are promoting are 100% against what a lady should act like. It hurts me.
Our families. Have you ever lived with one? A perfectionist, I mean? Well, my family has (ME!) and I have heard many times that I can cause extra stress and expectations that are, like I said before unattainable in this life. Perfectionism makes it hard to be around a person, hard to talk to them and even hard to want to be around them…cause of the high stress they “give” off so to say.
Our ministry. Something I have struggled with as I began my journey as a Pastor, was perfectionism. Trying to have the most well-behaved students, best curriculum, amazing leaders, incredible relationships built with ALL of the students, etc. Now I am not saying that these few things listed above aren’t attainable…just maybe not all the time. My mentor once told me, in ministry lets say you are running a kids programs and the games sucked, worship was awful (the kids were running around and not listening) and come to lesson time there isn’t much difference there either. But then, small groups come and you have an incredible 20 minutes with your students, thats okay! Not everything has to be perfect for God to show up. Because God likes messy, He’s there in the thick of it. God hates perfectionism because its a chaos filled, vicious cycle of lies that hurts His children.
Our everyday life. Here is an honest and transparent thought of mine. Perfectionism hurts me every single day. Want to know why? Because…If I don’t lose that pound I want to lose, I call myself failure. If my homemade christmas cards aren’t turning out like I wanted them to, I call myself failure. If I am not there for every person that ‘needs’ me and I say the forbidden word of “NO” , I call myself a failure. Folks, I don’t know if you can see what I am saying but, perfectionism attacks from every angle, its always in the act. Its here to steal, kill, and destroy our joy as Christians.
Moving Forward: My takeaway for today would be this. Don’t open the door of your heart to perfectionism any longer. Don’t allow this “vicious turmoil filled thing” to cause unrest and anxious feelings in your life. Live your life to the fullest because God wants you to, not because the world wants you to. When perfectionism is caught in the act of your life, drop to your knees and kick the devil in the face and tell him with a smile on your face “you’re not welcome here anymore.”
Slaying perfectionism one post at a time.
Until Next Time,