Written By: Kerrington Sweeney
Here I am exactly 472 days into my relationship. (Yes, I know the exact days…I am that kind of girl-friend. Don’t even judge me…ha ha!) A relationship that is continually being built to last “till death do us part.”
Being still fairly new, I may not have a lot to offer in ‘advice’ or tips with this dating thing just yet. Then on the other hand, I do feel that from the rocky beginning of our journey together, to now what we will call our forever…I could possibly share some insight in certain areas and from past experiences that we have walked through and learnt greatly from.
First off, what does the term “dating well” even look like?? This is a question that puzzles me, still even to this day.
I have heard countless times Christian leaders, parents and older folks make the comment: “Oh, that young couple… they date so well.”
To be quite honest, I have absolutely no clue what that even looks like or what it truly is “supposed” to look like…because every couple, every relationship, every person is so very different and unique. But like I said earlier…I am going to take a shot at sharing what my thoughts are on being THAT couple, that truly “date well.”
By all means, I am no expert. I don’t have all the answers. If you have all the answers, please do feel free to contact me below. I sure would love to meet with you face to face hahaha. 😉
I have a hand-written list of topics to chat about on this subject in front of me on a brown paper napkin. Of course, all these ideas came to me while I was grabbing a coffee one day and now here I am typing them out for your pleasure and enjoyment at midnight on a Tuesday night.
Alright. Dating well. Here it goes…
This list is not in any order of importance or greatness in a relationship looking to “date well.” Rather its just what came to my heart that one day on the brown paper napkin in line at the local coffee shop.
Communication. Communication is critical. Everyone in a relationship or entering into a relationship will tell you this…Honestly though, it can make you or break you. Again, I am no expert and I still am trying to find the proper balance in everyday communication.
I am glad and even proud to say though that Joshua and I have had a constant conversation since we first started dating. Actually, I don’t like that word ’constant.’ It sounds a little too excessive. Hmm…Here we go, we have had a continued conversation every single day. (See what I did there? lol) Technology has helped a ton with this.
—Important side note though: Communication is not really communication when its always exclusively behind a keyboard/or screen. Make time for actual important conversations with each other. Don’t just text or call about it. Face to face is the way to go. Communication is key.
“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life, without it…it dies.” —Tony Gaskins
Ditching expectations. I totally blame the media and our culture for putting such ridiculous expectations on ‘how’ a relationship should look like and function.
The expectation that is constantly sold and broad casted everywhere is that being a relationship all of a sudden makes you the happiest person on the earth.
I am sorry to be the one to burst your bubble…to say thats not true. Yes, you are so happy to have someone to call your own but, relationships aren’t easy and sometimes they aren’t even THAT fun.
They are hard, challenging, and crazy difficult. They require selflessness and sacrifice from both sides of the relationship. Join with me friends, and ‘ditch the expectations and lies’ that the media is force feeding us.
Prayer. This has been such a tremendous part of Joshua and my relationship right from the very beginning.
Anytime we didn’t know what to do or questioned God’s faithfulness through out all of my extreme health issues, we simply would stop and pray. Believe me, it wasn’t always easy…sometimes prayer came after anger and tears. But prayer makes all the difference.
Spontaneity. (Unplanned acts of LOVE.) Ask anyone…out of the two of us, I am the more spontaneous one and that’s totally okay. Something I love love love doing is surprising people. I love the look on ‘his’ face when I randomly show up at his house with a frozen lemonade “just because.” I love the quirky smile and wink that I see, when I send him a lovey dovey text across the room.
These are moments I will forever have etched in to my mind and heart. Keep the romance alive in your relationship with small surprises…hand written letters, random bouquets of flowers, yummy snacks to share, etc. Keep unplanned acts of love alive.
Thats all I have to share for now…stay tuned for Dating Well. (Part 2)
Until Next Time,