{Life} Under the desk. 

Written By: Kerrington Sweeney

Exactly three weeks into becoming a full-time children’s pastor, I was about to enter into the craziest two weeks of my entire life and for all the CP’s out there reading this…you know exactly what I am talking about…Kids Summer camps. 

Well here I was fresh out of the gates, off to the races I went. With very, limited time to prepare and even begin to think of how I wanted the summer camps to look and function, my heart was flooded with many ideas and passions for this type of kids camp ministry.

It was Monday morning of my first camp as the children’s pastor, there was so many complications, so many stresses, and so many things that went absolutely WRONG.

For this perfectionist that only had three weeks to prepare, it was heart-wrenching. It was then that the spirit of failure crawled over me and attempted to strangle me to the core.

It was in those moments that I felt like these two camp weeks in front of me, would just end up being a BIG huge flunk…I fled to my office that early Monday morning where I yearned to even just find a single ounce of peace in amongst the chaos of my frightened heart.

I was overwhelmed. I was anxious and I was terrified for the things that were ahead of me, both in ministry and personally.

With my head down and tears filling the corners of my eyes I quickly went to my office, and crawled under my desk and there I waited. No word of a lie. I was literally “under the desk.”

Oh, the tears they came while I was under. Slowly they came and then quickly they came. I sat under the desk and there I found peace. I could hear mounds of chaos going on around me yet, I waited. Even though questions came to me, from volunteers and staffers, I waited. I listened to His small still voice and then there I found my peace.

It was then that I knew that I knew, God would never leave me. He would be with me through the moments of fear and anxiousness.

As I crawled out from under the desk that Monday, I felt strengthened, energized and filled to the brim with confidence and my heart felt prepared. Ready for what was and is to come in kids ministry.

Now with confidence I can say…that I love everything about our summer camps even when the many stresses arise.

I love our little camper kiddos. I love being in that environment where its a “big happy family.” I love the sweaty little campers after they have been running around outside after sports. I love their proud faces after they have created something new to add to their ever growing craft collection or the amazement in their eyes as they have discovered something new about God’s creation.  I love summer camps.

It is now a running joke within my staff & volunteers at the church that when something goes wrong, they jokingly tell me to go “hide under my desk” and to be honest its not even necessarily being under the desk that miraculously gives me that douce of peace that I need.

There…under the desk… is where I found my peace.

I have many places now where I can just sit and wait on the Lord with no distractions….under the desk just happened to be one of the first ones.

I encourage you. Whoever you maybe, take time to wait on the Lord and listen to His still small voice.

In the moments when failure creeps in and tries to steal the joy that God has placed in you…take time and wait.

Well my friends, I guess I better crawl out from under my desk now and face the situations ahead of me by the grace and power of my Heavenly Father.

Until Next Time,

~Kerrington