Today’s Devotional

Written By: Karen Friday

Friend requests. We all receive them.

As a pastor’s wife, joy and blessings have befriended me on the journey.  However, the path’s also ladened with hard places.  Discouragement, resentment, and their tag-along sidekicks wanted to be my trusted companions.

My husband, Mike, is currently the lead pastor at Believers Church in East Tennessee. We’ve served in eight churches over the last thirty years.  I’ve learned valuable lessons about ministry and characteristics to avoid as BFF’s (best friends forever).

But what God taught me in class about church. Priceless.

6 Confessions and Lessons:

Confession #1: I’m a rebel of the typical-pastor-wife ideology.  Trying to conform in my   younger years, I fell prey to notions such a woman exists.  Is there a pastor’s wife who exemplifies “typical?”  I wondered who attempted the job description or definition for Wikipedia.  Lesson learned: God alone defines me.  I’m not typical.  I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14.)  The bottom line: I’ll claim my cue about who I am from the great I AM.

Confession #2: I am oppressed by people’s expectations.  I’ll never measure up to everyone’s ideal.  Neither will my husband.  I’m not the pastor’s wife from your former church or like another pastor’s wife you know or highly regard.  Lesson learned: Seek to please God, not people. (Galatians 1:10.)  Striving to please God will bring a correct perspective as I lay expectations at the feet of Jesus.  The bottom line: Ministry is not about me.  It’s about the One who said, “Follow me.”

Confession #3: I resent when the church becomes about busyness.  The pastor has great spiritual responsibility as shepherd.  Ministry can become side-tracked with fillers.  When this happens, a pastor’s family will often be neglected.  Lesson learned: Be about The Father’s business. (Luke 2:49.)  Spreading the gospel and making disciples are first priority.  Don’t misunderstand.  Fun events are good.  Yet, we can fill church calendars with no thought to our number one mission of sharing Christ.  The bottom line: Programs that fill empty spaces will never fill empty hearts.

Confession #4: I am wounded when people in the church are fault-finders.  Being approachable and extending freedom of expression are ways pastors and their wives make themselves available.  However, it leaves us open to attack from critics who prey on the opportunity to implement personal agendas.  It hurts when those inside church walls criticize my husband, family members, or me.  Mean people lurk in every area of life.  This includes the church.  The capacity for mean is within each of us.  We must guard against it.  I hope to never write the article, Confessions of a Mean Pastor’s Wife.  Lesson learned: Weigh criticism against identity in Christ.  The scales will always tip toward “in Christ” where I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17.)  The bottom line: We can always improve, but sift everything with the truth of knowing Christ transforms us.  People do not.

Confession #5: I dislike being under the microscope.  I heard this line from a movie, “She hated being a pastor’s wife, it made her feel like a bug under a microscope.”  While I’ve not loved everything about this role, I enjoy being a pastor’s wife.  Loving the man I married and choosing to be in ministry partnership with him.  Pastors and their wives are being watched and followed as leaders and examples in the body of Christ.  But.  We.  Fail.  Don’t put us on a religious-built pedestal made from idol-worship of men.  Lesson learned: Scriptures do the best job of dissecting my life. (2 Timothy 3:16.)  Delighting in God’s Word causes holiness to rise up in us.  We won’t get it right all the time—we’re not Jesus.  The bottom line: Holiness took our place for mercy’s sake.

Confession #6: I’m discouraged when the pastor is discouraged.  Pastors aren’t shielded from mental and emotional down-times—pastor blues.  Instead, they are susceptible to this attack from the enemy.  Church attendance is low.  There’s a lack of volunteers for a mission event.  Unity is scarce.  People grumble and leave.  All factors weighing heavy on a pastor’s heart, thus his wife’s heart.  Lesson learned: Encourage my husband’s heart as Christ shepherds my heart.  God is the strength of my heart. (Psalm 73:26.)  The bottom line: God is good, full of mercy, and steadfast in love—no matter what happens in our lives or ministry.

I pray my lessons learned will encourage pastors and their wives.

Do you have a pastor and wife, and associate pastors and wives?  You should because it’s biblical.  I pray these words give you insight of the burdens carried by those who shepherd the flocks.

And not for knowledge alone, it would spur you to:

• Love in action.  Find practical ways to come along side your pastor and serve.
• Pray for their teaching, anointing, intimacy with God, and against the magnitude of attack from the enemy.
• Be unified for a gospel purpose.  Don’t squabble about petty things.  Drama and whining show our true character.
• Encourage your pastor.  The forces of darkness come against him.  If you don’t realize the depth of spiritual battle your pastor is fighting, then get your head out of the sand.  It’s happening daily!  We must fight darkness with the light of Jesus.

I prefer friend requests from love, joy, peace, compassion, and kindness.  I’m learning to ignore the other requests.  Won’t you join me?

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and lover of words through writing, blogging, and speaking.  She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media.  Her writing connects family experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios to the timeless truths of scripture.  Karen earned a communications degree and has marketing experience in a broad spectrum of business services where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday.  Karen and her husband have two grown children.  The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday!”  They owe Monday an apology. Website: karengirlfriday.com

Written By: Patti Pierce

Over twenty-five years ago (more than half my total lifetime so far), I met my future husband.  At the time I met him, I knew he felt called to be a minister.  What that entailed for me, I was not sure.  My then husband-to-be belonged to a Primitive Baptist church his paternal grandfather and some other family members started.  Ministers are called elders and do not receive a salary so they have other jobs they do to make the money necessary to support their families.  When we first began our journey as man and wife, certain challenges and blessings presented themselves.  One challenge was my husband had to juggle a full-time job along with his ministerial responsibilities.  We were blessed that our church had three ministers – my grandfather-in-law, my father-in-law, and my husband.  This allowed for flexibility to visit or help out at other churches as needed or desired.  

During the first years of our marriage, any time my husband went out visiting friends and family I was able to go with him.  As the size of our family grew, that flexibility disappeared to a certain extent.  But we still tried to go out together as a family when possible.  I think one of the most important things a spouse of a minister can do is be involved in the ministerail activities.  At the same time, it is not always possible or practical.  Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.  For our family, this has included time apart and recognizing limitations.

Roughly twelve years into our marriage, we made a choice that changed our lives.  My husband decided to go full-time in the Army Reserves.  We were blessed that our first duty station was right in his hometown.  This allowed him to continue his ministry at our home church.  However, 2008 brought additional changes for our family.  We were relocated from North Carolina to southwestern Pennsylvania.  One of the hardest parts of the change came in finding a new church to attend.  We were blessed to find a church where my husband was allowed to continue preaching at times.  We then changed churches and found one where we were able to serve as Sunday School teachers and he also still had the opportunity to speak.  When we had to move again, we were once again on the hunt for a church home.  I think finding a church home can be one of the biggest challenges to face a pastor and his family when relocating.  

For our family, we knew that going active duty in the military was the right decision.  However, challenges come with that choice.  We have to actively pray for God to reveal His will for us.  We need intercessory prayer for us to make wise choices.  Having relocated to Texas recently from Pennsylvania means we are once again on the hunt for a church.  With a spouse who had a clear calling from God to preach and knowing others saw that call, we want to find a church that will allow Dennis, my husband, to use the gifts God has given.  This means we need a church that is open to us.  Some churches we have found are quite willing to open their doors to us.  Others find it more of a challenge.  The only thing we can do is pray for God’s will to be done.

About Patti:

My name is Patti Pierce and my husband and I have been married for over 23 years.  My husband has been an ordained Primitive Baptist preacher almost that entire time.  We are a Military Homeschooling Family who lives in North Central Pennsylvania. We put our faith in the one true Sovereign God.  We have been on our homeschooling journey for over 10 years now.  We have four children – three sons ages 19, 17 and 15 along with a daughter who is 13.  I blog about our life as a family, as homeschoolers, and our faith which guides our daily lives.

My blogs are:

https://truthandgracehomeschoolacademy.wordpress.com/

and

https://truthandgracewritingandlifecoaching.wordpress.com/

where I blog about the very beginning of journey to blog about my journey about being a writer and about working on my masters degree in Human Services with a concentration in Life Coaching.  I never dreamed this is where I would wind up, but this is where I find myself being led to go.

Written By: Vicki Johnson

Relationship building is the heart of effective ministry.  I’ve known this ever since I said, “I do” to my pastor husband.  To put this into perspective, we managed to squeeze in a home visitation between our wedding reception and the honeymoon suite.  You do that for people you love.  Yep, ministry is relationships and relationships involve people.

Fast forward fifteen years or so to an average Sunday morning with five children in tow.  5 minutes to go before the end of the service and I could execute my plan of action to get from point A, the sea of church people, to point B, my sanctuary, our car.  Calculate the route of least conversation without creating any ripples in the good-natured fellowship emerging in this Body of Christ.

Advancing toward my safe haven.

Target acquired.

Breathe.

What was the matter with me?  How had I come to this point where it was survival at all costs instead of wholehearted, grace-filled ministry?

I could reason away that my people avoidance was due to needy children, my husband’s schedule, or any number of church related involvements.  But the terrible truth was my love for ministry was dying.

Each congregation has its joy-suckers and joy-givers.  The delicate balance in being a pastor’s wife is keeping the right perspective of the two.  I had lost my ability to do that.  My heart just wasn’t in it any more.  A subtle resentment had crept into my attitude, evidenced in how and what I related to my husband.  Being the true shepherd that he is, he heard me out and cautioned me not to hold onto offences.  I had stopped singing in church.  I was doing the work of servant with the attitude of a slave.

Eventually David asked me to stop sharing all my negative notions with him, explaining that they were becoming a burden to his ability to minister.  He continually pointed me to the only One who could replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh.

I needed regenerative heart therapy from The Lord!

I can’t give you a specific date or event that was my turning point, but the steps I went through are found in Psalm 51:10-13:

10      Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

The first step in healing and restoration is acknowledging that there is a need for it. I desperately needed God to do what I could not do: to form in me a new, unstained heart with a steadfast desire to keep it pure and pleasing to Him. My stony heart was cutting off my ability to be responsive to the Holy Spirit.              

11      Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Do I really understand what sin does to my relationship to God? Continual, un-repented sin offends God to the point that He will forcefully put it out of His presence or face.  Until I acknowledge and confess my sin I will be “behind the face” of God. Out of His Presence. At odds with His righteousness. Inhospitable to the Holy Spirit.

12      Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And sustain me with a willing spirit.

When I first came to Jesus an overwhelming joy filled my heart. As my heart hardened it had difficulty bubbling over with anything except stony words, causing stumbling blocks for others. I needed the Lord to bring me back to His joy-spring and do whatever was necessary to keep my mind focused on the noble qualities He wanted to create in me.

13      Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You.

As one who had rebelled and returned to the Lord, I have come to understand how and why His ways are life-giving, noble and joy-filled. I am uniquely able to teach other rebels the benefits of following His life giving ways and direct them back to Him. Just as He mercifully did with me.

If you find that your heart no longer pulses with love for ministry as it once did, it may be time for a heart check.  I encourage you to go to Jesus and allow Him to walk you through Psalm 51.  I pray that you would be restored in the delight of His love.

Only the Lord could rescue me from my sin and restore me to be a joyful minister of His grace.  And the lessons The Lord has taught me I gladly pass on so that someone else might be turned back to God and live a life filled with joy and praises to God.

(New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. (1995). (Ps 51:10–13). LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation)

Vicki Johnson :  

Ministering with her hubby of 33 years, Vicki now joyfully lingers and engages in the fellowship times at church. She sees the blessing of Spirit-filled ministry that connects her life with the Body of Christ and hopes to encourage it in others.

Vicki and her husband, David, live in Boyertown, PA, with their daughter, Esther.  

Written By: Kaycee Simpson

When I was about seven or eight, my dad took my brother and me into the local CVS.  My dad grabbed what he needed and we followed him to the cash register.  Upon checking out, I saw a bin labelled “free.”  Curiosity was starting to kill the cat, so I walked up to the basket.  I peeked in to see stacks of marshmallow Peeps waiting to be taken.

“Take them,” my dad said like it was no big deal.  My eyes grew wide.  “Is it really free?” Even as a child, I knew that nothing was ever free.  You had to work for your money and money bought stuff.  And, I was not about to go to jail for accidentally taking something that was accidentally marked free.  Even as a kid, I was quite the skeptic.  The store manager who happened to walk by overheard us and laughed.  “They’re really free,” the store manager said.  She took out two boxes of Peeps and handed one to me and one to my brother.  “You can have more if you’d like.”  My brother and I looked at our dad and he nodded.  We dove in and if my memory serves me correctly, we walked out with quite a few boxes of Peeps.

I remembered this funny memory on my way to work last week and later that same day, a friend reminded me that it was the Holy Week.  What is Easter all about?  It’s about God’s free gift to us.  We just have to accept the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ.  Many times, some feel that they have to work for God’s love and to work their way into heaven.  It’s easy to be skeptical and say, “This sounds way too good to be true. There’s got to be a catch.”  But there isn’t.  Friend, God’s gift to you, His Son, Jesus Christ, is free.  It’s really free!  Trust in Him and accept God’s gift; it’s that simple.  Just like the free Peeps in the bin at CVS.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

About Kaycee:

Written By:Kimberley McClintock

Easter has always been a special time of year for me. Remembering the sacrifice that Jesus made for me. It’s hard to believe that even if there was no one else in the world He still would have died for me. How amazing is that.

Today I wanted to share with you one of the things I love most about Easter. No, it’s not the chocolate or the Hot Cross Buns. For me, the thing I love most about Easter is the community.

For the past 6 years I have had the privilege of being involved in Easterfest. Easterfest was a 3-day Christian music festival over the Easter weekend. Unfortunately, last year was the last time Easterfest was able to run.

What made Easterfest special wasn’t the bands that played or the speakers who spoke. What made Easterfest special was the community. There would be thousands of people attending Easterfest from all over Australia and even the world. We didn’t know each other but for that one weekend we were all family.

It didn’t matter what denomination we came from for that weekend we were all Christians, all celebrating Jesus. The other differences didn’t matter.

Lifelong friends were made at Easterfest. I even know of a couple who met at Easterfest and are now married. Easterfest was about the people, the community, God.

I remember one year after Easterfest was finished I was driving the 3-hour drive home. I stopped halfway to get some lunch. At the same place I had stopped another family from Easterfest had stopped. We didn’t know each other but because we knew each other had been at Easterfest (from the wristbands we wore and the band shirts we wore) we struck up a conversation and it was like we already knew each other.

Last year I was able to part of the volunteer team for Easterfest in the Chaplaincy department. This allowed me to see even more clearly how the community was brought together at Easter.

Even now that Easterfest is over I have found that Easter is still about community. Churches from different denominations are coming together to celebrate, to leave behind their differences and come together.

So I want to encourage you to enjoy the community at Easter, but also to make sure that community is not left for Easter only.

About Kimberley:

Hi, I’m Kimberley a 20-something Australian. You can find me at Life As Me where I blog about my faith, life, books and living the way God made me. I love reading, writing, spending time with friends and learning more about God and life. Come and say Hi! I’d love to get to know you.

Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest Youtube