Category: Guest-Writers

Written By: Krista Dunbar

Dear Sweet Friend,

I’m writing you this letter because I wish someone had written these words to me when I was first given the new title, “Pastor’s Wife”.  You see, there are so many of us women out there who have been given this same title and sometimes, the very same expectations.

Going into this new journey, you may be excited, scared, worried you’re not good enough, fearful of your story, or just plain mad about it.

You see, I was all of those things.  I knew my husband was going to be a pastor, but when we married, he was in the field of construction waiting on a church to respond to our interview journey.  At this time, I was just anxious to see my husband doing what we believed he was created to do.  So when the wait was over and our ministry was to begin within the church, I finally stopped and thought about what this meant.

I grew up in the Catholic church, so the idea of being a Pastor’s wife never really crossed my mind.  When I graduated from college and began getting to know the Lord better, I was set up with a soon-to-be preacher.  I became infatuated pretty quickly.  I thought that if I was good enough for him to date, then I was good enough in general.  You see, I still lived my life out of the work-for-your-grace mentality.  We got to know each other well through the magic technology of Skype.  As we began to broach the deeper topics, I knew I had to start airing some of my dirty laundry.  If I was good enough for him, then I’d be good enough for God.  (I want to go back and give myself a kick and a hug for this thought process).  But eventually, it didn’t work out.  And I assumed it was because I wasn’t the quiet, piano playing, DC Talk loving gal he was looking for.  I just wasn’t any of those things and couldn’t be any of those things.

This started my journey of feeling as if I wouldn’t be good enough for church ministry.  I wasn’t the pristine and beautiful unbroken jar of clay that could do it all. I had baggage.  I had doubts.  I didn’t even grow up hearing all of the bible stories.  But you know what?!  None of that mattered.

I met my husband in a young adult group.  He looked like a homeless man (not that there was anything wrong with that) but he wasn’t the typical pastor type with the air of perfection oozing from his polo and khakis.  And I liked that.  He accepted and pursued me for me and saw me as a forgiven and loved woman of God.  No matter what my past looked like.

So going into our ministry, I forgot that God orchestrated the whole thing and tried to put fake expectations on myself.  I started worrying about what I would look like if I didn’t raise my hands in worship or if I did.  I worried about my lack of Biblical knowledge and Christian bands.  I worried that my whole relationship with God had been a hoax up to that point and someone would poke and prod and find me out.  Because of all of this, I began to create a really pretty mask for myself.  I couldn’t be truly authentic because I didn’t have the answers.  Because I wanted to be the best partner to my husband in this new thing with these new people.

Honestly friend, this period of wearing the mask lasted two weeks.  It was so, so unbelievably heavy.  It wasn’t even a version of me I knew.

I realized that it’s okay to doubt.  It’s okay to be imperfect because NO HUMAN can ever be perfect.  That thought process is dipping dangerously into a realm where we try to be our own Savior and pretend we don’t need the work on the cross to be perfect.  And that’s so far from the truth.

If you are new to this whole “pastor’s wife thing”, I want you to hear this:

God has called you to this ministry because you are you.  You have a unique personality, unique set of gifts, and a beautiful message (about him) to share by being yourself.  And if you are trying to be anyone but yourself, you are doing Him a disservice.  If you’re not you, who is?

While it took me a few years to figure out that I don’t have to be everything for everyone, it’s the best thing I could’ve learned.

Ministry can be such a lonely place if you isolate yourself.  So let’s stick together, be ourselves, and live out His command of loving Him and others as best as we can.

Krista Dunbar is loved by God, set free from her failures through Jesus Christ, and is living out her purpose through writing, encouraging, and loving others.  She believes the best way to lead is by being open, honest, and authentic.  She’s the wife and helper to her Young Adult Pastor husband, Chris.  They love doing ministry together, serving side by side in conversation, missional living, and doing CrossFit.  Krista loves sharing stories of God’s purpose through others’ over at Woven & Threaded.  She also just launched her own communications consulting business and is learning how to be an entrepreneur.

Written By: Erin Almond

There are things in life that you’re just unable to fully prepare for.  You know, you can read the books, you can talk with others about their experiences, you can read blogs and listen to podcasts…and while ALL of that is helpful, it doesn’t fully prepare you for the magnitude of the task at hand or for where the Lord is calling you.

That’s my experience at the wife of a church-planter.

In short, it’s everything I thought it would be, and nothing that I thought it would be—at the same time.

I’ll start by saying this—I knew this is the life I was entering when I married my husband.  He was open about hearing the Lord’s call to not only pastor a church, but to start one from the ground up.  Throughout our courtship, we attended a church plant, and during our first year of marriage, we heard the Lord’s call for us to move to the city where we would plant our church; and as quickly as we heard that call, He provided everything we needed to get there and be established.  We are confident that we are where He desires for us to be.

But truthfully, it’s not always easy to rest in that confidence.  

Being the wife of a pastor, especially a church-planting pastor is something that I feel called to, but not always gifted for.  And that’s where the Lord has really worked in me and on my heart.  As I’ve surrendered more and more to His will and this process, I’ve seen Him do what seemed like the impossible.

Our church plant just celebrated one year, and it’s been such an amazing journey.  Dear sister, I pray that you might be encouraged by these lessons I’ve learned in this past year:

1. The best encouragement is to speak God’s promises over him.  
   • The process of pastoring (and particularly planting a church) is one of ups and downs that the enemy can use to manipulate your husband’s insecurities.  When you see him struggling with a decision or frustrated about the various challenges, encourage him with the word of God. 
2. Go to God in prayer FIRST.
   • It seems simple, right?!?  Of course, we go to God in prayer first!  I’ve learned that whether it’s offering my opinion on where something may need to be adjusted with the church or frustration about something around the house, my results are more favourable when I’ve spent time with God in prayer FIRST.  I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to help me know when (and what) to share, and how to share in a way that my husband is able to receive it.
3. Discuss what your role in the church will be…
   • Having a clear understanding of where/how you feel called to serve in the church plant is important.  It helps both you and your husband in setting boundaries, and frees you from feeling that you must do everything.  
4. But know that being a Wife is Most Important
   • With a church plant, there are ALWAYS things that need to get done.  Between the various administrative tasks that come with leading a church to the actual “doing” ministry—the work can seem endless.  And while it’s great if ALL of that gets done, it doesn’t matter if it comes at the expense of your husband and your family.  Our husband and children (if you have them) are our first ministry.  Let us be faithful to the area God first entrusted to our care.
5. It’s hard, but it’s worth it
   • The journey of church planting is one of the biggest exercises of faith that you may ever encounter.  If I didn’t honestly believe that this is the life we were called to, I wouldn’t sign up for it—it’s just that hard.  But, it’s been worth it to see the Lord work.  To hear the testimonies.  To see people go from death to life.

Dear sister, I pray that you find joy in the journey, and that you constantly feel the grace, love, and renewing power of the Lord as you serve with your husband.  I pray that you know that the Lord has equipped you (yes, YOU) for this, and what you have to offer is needed and valuable.  I pray against attacks from the enemy that will attempt to steal your faith, your joy, and your peace.  May you constantly feel covered by the Lord.  Praying for you, and for the impact that you and your church will have for the Kingdom.

~Erin

About Erin:

Erin can be described in many ways, but most prominently as a Christian, a wife, step mommy, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, mentor, and your favourite girl next door.  She considers herself to be an education enthusiast, spending her entire professional career working in education with students from middle school through college, helping to make real their dream of attending the college of their choice.

Erin is most passionate about Jesus, seeking His will, and helping others to live their best possible life through Him by infusing her love of education and leadership development in this process.  She is proud to be married to her favourite preacher man and best friend, Ernest.

In her spare time, Erin can be found enjoying cupcakes with buttercream frosting, reading, preparing healthy meals, and trying to convince her husband that she needs more shoes, Moleskine notebooks, and Pepsi.  She is active in her local church, and is determined to live a life worthy of the calling she has received.  Her ultimate desire is to change lives and hearts for Jesus, and she writes to encourage people in the Lord.

Writen By: Vickie Munton

The days are long past, but the emotion still creeps in…

Self-pity

We have raised four PK’s (Pastor’s kids), and just thinking about those days of trying to get all of us out the door on time for church can still get my blood pressure rising.

“It’s totally not fair,” I thought, “he can get a long hot shower, put on a nice suit, and

JUST.WALK.OUT.THE.DOOR. “

And the chaos ensues.  

“Tell her to get out of the bathroom!”

“I don’t have any clean socks!”

“Where, oh where is my hairbrush?!” (not the Veggie Tale version!)

And, of course, “I can’t find my Bible!”

YEP.  Flat out pity-party.  It was not pretty, and I’m not proud of it.  My sweet husband was often oblivious, and I kept it that way.  The guilt I was feeling for thinking this way would only be increased if I burdened my pastor with the ho-hum hullaballoo adventures of his not-so-perfect family.

And so it was.  A party we celebrated almost every Sunday—and it.was.not.fun.  And of course, no one seemed to understand why I was late and frazzled and not good at putting on a fake smile.  But I did anyway.

Until I saw her.

The woman with the newly-acquired title of WIDOW.

And my heart started beating out of my chest.

I knew this was no coincidence.  

I went to church to completely out of obedience, and though my spirit wasn’t prepared for it,

I met Jesus.

He was there, in the widow’s eyes.

And I knew.  I knew that I could never look at my situation the same again.  He taught me a valuable lesson and He didn’t have to say a word.  He was just there.  And the gentleness with which He spoke, spoke volumes.  

Perspective.  Keeping my eyes on Him was the only way to see with clarity.

So I am grateful.  Truly grateful that He loves me anyway.  That He showed me how very much I have to be thankful for, and that even when I’m alone—really alone like this sweet widow—He will still be there.  He will speak to my heart and give me courage and hope and promise.  He will renew my spirit and fill me with His.  

This girl doesn’t want to make this mistake again, so I do absolutely everything I can to physically and spiritually prepare for Sundays—and it starts long before the clock strikes midnight.  I started calling Saturdays my “pre-Sunday” day.  The day to plan and prepare for Sundays.  Before going to bed, we have decided what breakfast will be and decide what we will wear—and prayers for the coming day prepare our hearts.

This preparation—this planning—getting ready to be with Jesus is something that should be on our calendar every day.  

“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”  Jeremiah 29:13

~Vickie Munton

About Vickie:

Vickie Munton has served beside her husband in ministry for more than 30 years and has four adult children.  The joy of her life is her seven beautiful grandbabies.

Her heart’s desire is to share her faith in the Lord Jesus and life experiences in a way that help to build up and encourage others:

“I want their hearts to be encouraged and joined together in love, so that they may have all the riches of assured understanding, and have the knowledge of God’s mystery—Christ.”   
Ephesians 2:2

Written By: Patti Pierce

When I was a senior in college, I met my future husband.  We began our “courtship” in January.  He made it clear from the start he felt called by God to be a minister.  I had no doubts about that calling.  When he asked me to marry him approximately six months after we began our relationship around the end of June/beginning of July, I had no qualms about saying yes.  When we first became engaged, we did not set a wedding date.  Everything was new and exciting and we were still getting to know each other.

In October, we attended a nearby church on the first Sunday of the month.  I will never forget the elder (that’s what ministers are called in the Primitive Baptist church) asked my husband to speak.  Dennis, my husband-to-be, declined that day to speak.  But we knew the calling was coming sooner rather than later.  So we went to visit Dennis’ grandfather to discuss the calling.  While we were talking, Grandaddy told us we had to either set our wedding date or walk away from one another.  We both knew he was right, even if it was not what we wanted to hear.  We went back and set our wedding date.  The time before the wedding flew by and before I knew it I was a married lady.  

The first year of our marriage, we did everything together.  We went and visited family and friends often.  When Dennis was called on to do something in his ministerial capacity, I typically went with him.  It was an amazing time in our lives.  We prayed together often.  As time went on, the size of our family grew.  The demands as a mother prevented me from going with Dennis like I had in the past.  Eventually, I found my time centring around raising our children, cooking meals and doing laundry.  

When we made the decision to go full-time in the Army Reserves, time for ministerial endeavours reduced dramatically.  I needed to focus on my calling and responsibilities of being a mother to the children God blessed us with over the course of about 6 years.  Starting in 1996 through 2002, every other year we were blessed with a new addition to our family.  Once we were a family of six, we wanted to make sure our children grew up to know the Lord.  So we undertook starting a Sunday School at our church.  It started off small with very few children (and most of the children who attended were our own).  But over the years, it has grown.  Even though we have not been there for over seven years, it is good to know other children are learning about the Lord.  

Sometimes begin a pastor’s wife involves sitting on the sidelines watching and supporting our spouses.  Other times it involves jumping in and getting involved in what needs to be done.  All in all, through the years, I have been blessed in countless ways by my husband’s calling and willingness to serve.  One of the ways I chose to serve while we were at our last duty station was volunteering as a leader for our teens.  As one of the activities, our teens led the worship service.  None of the teens wanted to give the message necessarily, so I delivered my first and only message from the pulpit.  It was quite an experience being on the other side of the audience.  But I was definitely blessed by saying I would follow what the Lord directed me to do.  All in all, being a pastor’s wife has brought numerous blessings to my life.  I pray for the Lord to bless you today.

About Patti:

My name is Patti Pierce and my husband and I have been married for over 23 years.  My husband has been an ordained Primitive Baptist preacher almost that entire time.  We are a Military Homeschooling Family who lives in North Central Pennsylvania. We put our faith in the one true Sovereign God.  We have been on our homeschooling journey for over 10 years now.  We have four children – three sons ages 19, 17 and 15 along with a daughter who is 13.  I blog about our life as a family, as homeschoolers, and our faith which guides our daily lives.

My blogs are:

https://truthandgracehomeschoolacademy.wordpress.com/

and

https://truthandgracewritingandlifecoaching.wordpress.com/

where I blog about the very beginning of journey to blog about my journey about being a writer and about working on my masters degree in Human Services with a concentration in Life Coaching.  I never dreamed this is where I would wind up, but this is where I find myself being led to go.

Written By: Amanda Walter

Have you ever felt completely useless?  Perhaps you feel that your life has no meaning?  I know I have, and I think it’s safe to say some of you have been there too.

It was recently that my life completely changed – for the better.  I graduated with a second Bachelor’s Degree, got married to my best friend, moved to the United States and began ministering with him.  All was well and I was happy, but after a few months, I started to get restless.

Being out of the country meant that I was not able to legally have any income (i.e. work), and that my family and friends were far away.  This isn’t the first time I’ve lived outside of the country or even the continent, but when you’re not guaranteed to have summers at home, things are a little different.

If you know me, you know that I love cooking and cleaning, but even that started to seem dull. It seemed as if I wasn’t doing anything productive.  I started feeling lonely (friends are not always easy to come by as a pastor’s wife) and sorry for myself. I prayed and prayed for some purpose, but I felt useless.

One morning, as I debated getting out of bed, the Lord brought some verses to my mind:

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,” Colossians 3:23

“…walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” Colossians 1:10

It then hit me.  I wasn’t doing this!  Though I was here next to my husband doing full-time ministry (something I never questioned I would do!), I was complaining that “all I did” was cook, clean and follow my husband around to Bible studies and visits.  I needed to do things to God’s glory.  I needed to rejoice always and in everything give thanks (see Philippians 4).  In reality, my ministry at home was ministering to others!  Being able to have the house clean, and have food on the table, allowed my husband to be free of those responsibilities, and in turn he could serve others better.

If I was working full time, I would hardly be home (I’m a teacher), and my poor non-cooking husband would have to either eat out (not terribly healthy) or eat spaghetti 5 days a week!  Plus, we would not have much time for each other (we need that – we’re newlyweds after all!).

Since that day and those revelations, my attitude changed drastically.

I started my blog, Maple Alps, became more involved playing the organ and piano in church, teaching, and of course, cooking and cleaning – my favourite ministry! Through all of these things, I rejoice, because I know that God is good and that this is the season He has for me right now.

What about you?

Are you in a rut and are you not sure if you’re living a life according to God’s will?  Are you constantly complaining about what could be instead of thanking the Lord for the season you’re in?  Even through trials we are to give thanks and count it all joy! (James 1)

I feel so blessed to know that God can even use me and give me the desire of my heart because I’ve chosen to delight in Him (Psalm 37:4)!  I pray the same for all of you.

About Amanda:

Amanda and her husband live and minister in Michigan.  When she’s not cooking, cleaning, ministering or crocheting, she blogs at Maple Alps (www.maplealps.com), where she writes about living intentionally, simply and content.

Written By: Karen Friday

Friend requests. We all receive them.

As a pastor’s wife, joy and blessings have befriended me on the journey.  However, the path’s also ladened with hard places.  Discouragement, resentment, and their tag-along sidekicks wanted to be my trusted companions.

My husband, Mike, is currently the lead pastor at Believers Church in East Tennessee. We’ve served in eight churches over the last thirty years.  I’ve learned valuable lessons about ministry and characteristics to avoid as BFF’s (best friends forever).

But what God taught me in class about church. Priceless.

6 Confessions and Lessons:

Confession #1: I’m a rebel of the typical-pastor-wife ideology.  Trying to conform in my   younger years, I fell prey to notions such a woman exists.  Is there a pastor’s wife who exemplifies “typical?”  I wondered who attempted the job description or definition for Wikipedia.  Lesson learned: God alone defines me.  I’m not typical.  I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14.)  The bottom line: I’ll claim my cue about who I am from the great I AM.

Confession #2: I am oppressed by people’s expectations.  I’ll never measure up to everyone’s ideal.  Neither will my husband.  I’m not the pastor’s wife from your former church or like another pastor’s wife you know or highly regard.  Lesson learned: Seek to please God, not people. (Galatians 1:10.)  Striving to please God will bring a correct perspective as I lay expectations at the feet of Jesus.  The bottom line: Ministry is not about me.  It’s about the One who said, “Follow me.”

Confession #3: I resent when the church becomes about busyness.  The pastor has great spiritual responsibility as shepherd.  Ministry can become side-tracked with fillers.  When this happens, a pastor’s family will often be neglected.  Lesson learned: Be about The Father’s business. (Luke 2:49.)  Spreading the gospel and making disciples are first priority.  Don’t misunderstand.  Fun events are good.  Yet, we can fill church calendars with no thought to our number one mission of sharing Christ.  The bottom line: Programs that fill empty spaces will never fill empty hearts.

Confession #4: I am wounded when people in the church are fault-finders.  Being approachable and extending freedom of expression are ways pastors and their wives make themselves available.  However, it leaves us open to attack from critics who prey on the opportunity to implement personal agendas.  It hurts when those inside church walls criticize my husband, family members, or me.  Mean people lurk in every area of life.  This includes the church.  The capacity for mean is within each of us.  We must guard against it.  I hope to never write the article, Confessions of a Mean Pastor’s Wife.  Lesson learned: Weigh criticism against identity in Christ.  The scales will always tip toward “in Christ” where I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17.)  The bottom line: We can always improve, but sift everything with the truth of knowing Christ transforms us.  People do not.

Confession #5: I dislike being under the microscope.  I heard this line from a movie, “She hated being a pastor’s wife, it made her feel like a bug under a microscope.”  While I’ve not loved everything about this role, I enjoy being a pastor’s wife.  Loving the man I married and choosing to be in ministry partnership with him.  Pastors and their wives are being watched and followed as leaders and examples in the body of Christ.  But.  We.  Fail.  Don’t put us on a religious-built pedestal made from idol-worship of men.  Lesson learned: Scriptures do the best job of dissecting my life. (2 Timothy 3:16.)  Delighting in God’s Word causes holiness to rise up in us.  We won’t get it right all the time—we’re not Jesus.  The bottom line: Holiness took our place for mercy’s sake.

Confession #6: I’m discouraged when the pastor is discouraged.  Pastors aren’t shielded from mental and emotional down-times—pastor blues.  Instead, they are susceptible to this attack from the enemy.  Church attendance is low.  There’s a lack of volunteers for a mission event.  Unity is scarce.  People grumble and leave.  All factors weighing heavy on a pastor’s heart, thus his wife’s heart.  Lesson learned: Encourage my husband’s heart as Christ shepherds my heart.  God is the strength of my heart. (Psalm 73:26.)  The bottom line: God is good, full of mercy, and steadfast in love—no matter what happens in our lives or ministry.

I pray my lessons learned will encourage pastors and their wives.

Do you have a pastor and wife, and associate pastors and wives?  You should because it’s biblical.  I pray these words give you insight of the burdens carried by those who shepherd the flocks.

And not for knowledge alone, it would spur you to:

• Love in action.  Find practical ways to come along side your pastor and serve.
• Pray for their teaching, anointing, intimacy with God, and against the magnitude of attack from the enemy.
• Be unified for a gospel purpose.  Don’t squabble about petty things.  Drama and whining show our true character.
• Encourage your pastor.  The forces of darkness come against him.  If you don’t realize the depth of spiritual battle your pastor is fighting, then get your head out of the sand.  It’s happening daily!  We must fight darkness with the light of Jesus.

I prefer friend requests from love, joy, peace, compassion, and kindness.  I’m learning to ignore the other requests.  Won’t you join me?

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and lover of words through writing, blogging, and speaking.  She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media.  Her writing connects family experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios to the timeless truths of scripture.  Karen earned a communications degree and has marketing experience in a broad spectrum of business services where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday.  Karen and her husband have two grown children.  The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday!”  They owe Monday an apology. Website: karengirlfriday.com

Written By: Patti Pierce

Over twenty-five years ago (more than half my total lifetime so far), I met my future husband.  At the time I met him, I knew he felt called to be a minister.  What that entailed for me, I was not sure.  My then husband-to-be belonged to a Primitive Baptist church his paternal grandfather and some other family members started.  Ministers are called elders and do not receive a salary so they have other jobs they do to make the money necessary to support their families.  When we first began our journey as man and wife, certain challenges and blessings presented themselves.  One challenge was my husband had to juggle a full-time job along with his ministerial responsibilities.  We were blessed that our church had three ministers – my grandfather-in-law, my father-in-law, and my husband.  This allowed for flexibility to visit or help out at other churches as needed or desired.  

During the first years of our marriage, any time my husband went out visiting friends and family I was able to go with him.  As the size of our family grew, that flexibility disappeared to a certain extent.  But we still tried to go out together as a family when possible.  I think one of the most important things a spouse of a minister can do is be involved in the ministerail activities.  At the same time, it is not always possible or practical.  Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.  For our family, this has included time apart and recognizing limitations.

Roughly twelve years into our marriage, we made a choice that changed our lives.  My husband decided to go full-time in the Army Reserves.  We were blessed that our first duty station was right in his hometown.  This allowed him to continue his ministry at our home church.  However, 2008 brought additional changes for our family.  We were relocated from North Carolina to southwestern Pennsylvania.  One of the hardest parts of the change came in finding a new church to attend.  We were blessed to find a church where my husband was allowed to continue preaching at times.  We then changed churches and found one where we were able to serve as Sunday School teachers and he also still had the opportunity to speak.  When we had to move again, we were once again on the hunt for a church home.  I think finding a church home can be one of the biggest challenges to face a pastor and his family when relocating.  

For our family, we knew that going active duty in the military was the right decision.  However, challenges come with that choice.  We have to actively pray for God to reveal His will for us.  We need intercessory prayer for us to make wise choices.  Having relocated to Texas recently from Pennsylvania means we are once again on the hunt for a church.  With a spouse who had a clear calling from God to preach and knowing others saw that call, we want to find a church that will allow Dennis, my husband, to use the gifts God has given.  This means we need a church that is open to us.  Some churches we have found are quite willing to open their doors to us.  Others find it more of a challenge.  The only thing we can do is pray for God’s will to be done.

About Patti:

My name is Patti Pierce and my husband and I have been married for over 23 years.  My husband has been an ordained Primitive Baptist preacher almost that entire time.  We are a Military Homeschooling Family who lives in North Central Pennsylvania. We put our faith in the one true Sovereign God.  We have been on our homeschooling journey for over 10 years now.  We have four children – three sons ages 19, 17 and 15 along with a daughter who is 13.  I blog about our life as a family, as homeschoolers, and our faith which guides our daily lives.

My blogs are:

https://truthandgracehomeschoolacademy.wordpress.com/

and

https://truthandgracewritingandlifecoaching.wordpress.com/

where I blog about the very beginning of journey to blog about my journey about being a writer and about working on my masters degree in Human Services with a concentration in Life Coaching.  I never dreamed this is where I would wind up, but this is where I find myself being led to go.

Written By: Vicki Johnson

Relationship building is the heart of effective ministry.  I’ve known this ever since I said, “I do” to my pastor husband.  To put this into perspective, we managed to squeeze in a home visitation between our wedding reception and the honeymoon suite.  You do that for people you love.  Yep, ministry is relationships and relationships involve people.

Fast forward fifteen years or so to an average Sunday morning with five children in tow.  5 minutes to go before the end of the service and I could execute my plan of action to get from point A, the sea of church people, to point B, my sanctuary, our car.  Calculate the route of least conversation without creating any ripples in the good-natured fellowship emerging in this Body of Christ.

Advancing toward my safe haven.

Target acquired.

Breathe.

What was the matter with me?  How had I come to this point where it was survival at all costs instead of wholehearted, grace-filled ministry?

I could reason away that my people avoidance was due to needy children, my husband’s schedule, or any number of church related involvements.  But the terrible truth was my love for ministry was dying.

Each congregation has its joy-suckers and joy-givers.  The delicate balance in being a pastor’s wife is keeping the right perspective of the two.  I had lost my ability to do that.  My heart just wasn’t in it any more.  A subtle resentment had crept into my attitude, evidenced in how and what I related to my husband.  Being the true shepherd that he is, he heard me out and cautioned me not to hold onto offences.  I had stopped singing in church.  I was doing the work of servant with the attitude of a slave.

Eventually David asked me to stop sharing all my negative notions with him, explaining that they were becoming a burden to his ability to minister.  He continually pointed me to the only One who could replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh.

I needed regenerative heart therapy from The Lord!

I can’t give you a specific date or event that was my turning point, but the steps I went through are found in Psalm 51:10-13:

10      Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

The first step in healing and restoration is acknowledging that there is a need for it. I desperately needed God to do what I could not do: to form in me a new, unstained heart with a steadfast desire to keep it pure and pleasing to Him. My stony heart was cutting off my ability to be responsive to the Holy Spirit.              

11      Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Do I really understand what sin does to my relationship to God? Continual, un-repented sin offends God to the point that He will forcefully put it out of His presence or face.  Until I acknowledge and confess my sin I will be “behind the face” of God. Out of His Presence. At odds with His righteousness. Inhospitable to the Holy Spirit.

12      Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And sustain me with a willing spirit.

When I first came to Jesus an overwhelming joy filled my heart. As my heart hardened it had difficulty bubbling over with anything except stony words, causing stumbling blocks for others. I needed the Lord to bring me back to His joy-spring and do whatever was necessary to keep my mind focused on the noble qualities He wanted to create in me.

13      Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You.

As one who had rebelled and returned to the Lord, I have come to understand how and why His ways are life-giving, noble and joy-filled. I am uniquely able to teach other rebels the benefits of following His life giving ways and direct them back to Him. Just as He mercifully did with me.

If you find that your heart no longer pulses with love for ministry as it once did, it may be time for a heart check.  I encourage you to go to Jesus and allow Him to walk you through Psalm 51.  I pray that you would be restored in the delight of His love.

Only the Lord could rescue me from my sin and restore me to be a joyful minister of His grace.  And the lessons The Lord has taught me I gladly pass on so that someone else might be turned back to God and live a life filled with joy and praises to God.

(New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. (1995). (Ps 51:10–13). LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation)

Vicki Johnson :  

Ministering with her hubby of 33 years, Vicki now joyfully lingers and engages in the fellowship times at church. She sees the blessing of Spirit-filled ministry that connects her life with the Body of Christ and hopes to encourage it in others.

Vicki and her husband, David, live in Boyertown, PA, with their daughter, Esther.  

Written By: Kaycee Simpson

When I was about seven or eight, my dad took my brother and me into the local CVS.  My dad grabbed what he needed and we followed him to the cash register.  Upon checking out, I saw a bin labelled “free.”  Curiosity was starting to kill the cat, so I walked up to the basket.  I peeked in to see stacks of marshmallow Peeps waiting to be taken.

“Take them,” my dad said like it was no big deal.  My eyes grew wide.  “Is it really free?” Even as a child, I knew that nothing was ever free.  You had to work for your money and money bought stuff.  And, I was not about to go to jail for accidentally taking something that was accidentally marked free.  Even as a kid, I was quite the skeptic.  The store manager who happened to walk by overheard us and laughed.  “They’re really free,” the store manager said.  She took out two boxes of Peeps and handed one to me and one to my brother.  “You can have more if you’d like.”  My brother and I looked at our dad and he nodded.  We dove in and if my memory serves me correctly, we walked out with quite a few boxes of Peeps.

I remembered this funny memory on my way to work last week and later that same day, a friend reminded me that it was the Holy Week.  What is Easter all about?  It’s about God’s free gift to us.  We just have to accept the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ.  Many times, some feel that they have to work for God’s love and to work their way into heaven.  It’s easy to be skeptical and say, “This sounds way too good to be true. There’s got to be a catch.”  But there isn’t.  Friend, God’s gift to you, His Son, Jesus Christ, is free.  It’s really free!  Trust in Him and accept God’s gift; it’s that simple.  Just like the free Peeps in the bin at CVS.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

About Kaycee: