Written By: Amanda Walter
Have you ever felt completely useless? Perhaps you feel that your life has no meaning? I know I have, and I think it’s safe to say some of you have been there too.
It was recently that my life completely changed – for the better. I graduated with a second Bachelor’s Degree, got married to my best friend, moved to the United States and began ministering with him. All was well and I was happy, but after a few months, I started to get restless.
Being out of the country meant that I was not able to legally have any income (i.e. work), and that my family and friends were far away. This isn’t the first time I’ve lived outside of the country or even the continent, but when you’re not guaranteed to have summers at home, things are a little different.
If you know me, you know that I love cooking and cleaning, but even that started to seem dull. It seemed as if I wasn’t doing anything productive. I started feeling lonely (friends are not always easy to come by as a pastor’s wife) and sorry for myself. I prayed and prayed for some purpose, but I felt useless.
One morning, as I debated getting out of bed, the Lord brought some verses to my mind:
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,” Colossians 3:23
“…walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” Colossians 1:10
It then hit me. I wasn’t doing this! Though I was here next to my husband doing full-time ministry (something I never questioned I would do!), I was complaining that “all I did” was cook, clean and follow my husband around to Bible studies and visits. I needed to do things to God’s glory. I needed to rejoice always and in everything give thanks (see Philippians 4). In reality, my ministry at home was ministering to others! Being able to have the house clean, and have food on the table, allowed my husband to be free of those responsibilities, and in turn he could serve others better.
If I was working full time, I would hardly be home (I’m a teacher), and my poor non-cooking husband would have to either eat out (not terribly healthy) or eat spaghetti 5 days a week! Plus, we would not have much time for each other (we need that – we’re newlyweds after all!).
Since that day and those revelations, my attitude changed drastically.
I started my blog, Maple Alps, became more involved playing the organ and piano in church, teaching, and of course, cooking and cleaning – my favourite ministry! Through all of these things, I rejoice, because I know that God is good and that this is the season He has for me right now.
What about you?
Are you in a rut and are you not sure if you’re living a life according to God’s will? Are you constantly complaining about what could be instead of thanking the Lord for the season you’re in? Even through trials we are to give thanks and count it all joy! (James 1)
I feel so blessed to know that God can even use me and give me the desire of my heart because I’ve chosen to delight in Him (Psalm 37:4)! I pray the same for all of you.
Amanda and her husband live and minister in Michigan. When she’s not cooking, cleaning, ministering or crocheting, she blogs at Maple Alps (www.maplealps.com), where she writes about living intentionally, simply and content.