Today’s Devotional

{Love}

{Love} Love: Why Should I Do It?

UYM

Written By: Hannah Kittle

When I ask you the question, “Why should you love someone?” does that seem like a strange question?  It seems like it would be common sense to love people, right?  But what if I told you that that commandment also reaches out to loving those in our lives whom we would call unlovable for whatever reason.  Maybe it’s that girl who said something that hurt us, that friend who talked about us behind our back, that guy who broke up with us for no apparent reason, that friend that we believed we had an honest, good relationship and it turned out to not be who we thought, that classmate who stole our work, that person we looked up to who we regarded as perfect and found out they weren’t.  When I was challenged by listening to messages about love, I realized how far from loving I really truly was.

In English, when we say “love” we generally use it as a verb.  So when we say verb, what do we mean?  Verbs usually mean some kind of action is being taken.  Merriam Webster says, “a word (such as jump, think, happen, or exist) that is usually one of the main parts of a sentence and that expresses an action, an occurrence, or a state of being.”  An action, occurrence, state of being.  Those are all things that we do.  Those are all actions we perform.  Those are the attitudes we have to each other.  We have to love people by showing them kindness, patience, grace and mercy in the same way we’ve been given.  When do we do this?  We do this ALL the time.  100%, every second, minute, hour, day, week, and year.

Is loving easy?  NO.  But why?  If it were easy, then we wouldn’t have to ask twice why we love people, even the difficult ones.  So if loving is difficult why do we do it?  Why do we keep going on even when it’s hard, painful, and discouraging?    Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  We show love by forgiving others, standing up for the lost, defending the orphan and widow, and still loving others even when they hurt us.  Loving isn’t just something that we need to do.  Loving is something we’re called and ordered to do.  Right in Ephesians it says that we are following the example of the Lord by walking in love towards one another.  We walk in love toward one another by forgiving people.

How is loving people shown by forgiving them?  Going back to Ephesians, it says that Christ loved us and gave His life for us.  That’s cause and effect.  His love caused Him to give His life for us.  While the sacrifice we make isn’t as drastic as Christ’s, let’s think about some of the sacrifices we make when we love people.  We sacrifice our time, energy, money, emotions, and hearts as we invest in relationships.  As we invest in people and in relationships with them, we find out about their joys, strengths, pains, problems, worries, weaknesses, and personalities.  As we grow closer to people we find that we are often the ones they lean on to help unravel the messes and we have to practice tough love as helping them through their struggles.  Helping someone through their struggles is anything but clean, easy, and fun.  Instead, it’s painful, messy, heart breaking, gut-wrenching, and just plain awful sometimes.  So does that give us the license to simply shut down and never love anyone?

There’s a famous quote by C.S. Lewis that says, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”  Whoa, gut-punch, heart-stopping, earth-shattering moment right there.  Did he just admit fully and warn us about being vulnerable and loving?  Yes, he did.  If anyone knew what it was like to love vulnerably, it was C.S. Lewis.  He lost his mother at a young age and then his beloved wife to cancer at a young age.  If anyone knows about heartbreak and wanting to never love again, it would be him.  He was faced with the ultimate decision: either shut his heart down and never love anyone or anything again or use his pain and let it turn his love into something more beautiful and let it help so many others.

How does this quote apply to us?  It gives us a powerful warning that yes, loving is hard.  It is INCREDIBLY hard.  BUT if we take a look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 this is what we read, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  These verses talk about how love is all of these incredible qualities yet we’re warned by C.S. Lewis that these things will be thrown back in our faces and trampled in the dust.  How encouraging is that, right?

God says in the Bible, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”  (1 Corinthians 10:13) God will put us into situations where we are required to love people that absolutely break our hearts by their words and actions.  However, as promised by the verses He will not put us into positions that we cannot handle without His help.  We were never meant to try and handle situations that are meant to be handled by God.  He alone has a heart that is big enough to love unconditionally through it all.

You may be thinking and saying to yourself, “Hannah, this is all well and good, but you don’t know what I’ve gone through.”  Sweet sister, you’re right.  I don’t know the specifics, but I know your pain.  Over the last year I’ve lost good friends, one who I thought would help me transition into college.  I’ve had to learn to love and forgive those classmates who have tried to cheat off my homework.  This semester, I’ve been faced more than ever before with those who profess Christ as their Lord and Savior and live a life in opposition to Him.  Is it hard to love those people? Y.E.S.  Do I struggle with regularly? Y.E.S. Why do I keep loving them and showing that by reaching out to them?  Because, the same love that was extended to me by the God who personifies love is the same God Who loved enough to die for me and empower others to love me.  As Christians we reflect love, God’s love, in a way that astounds the world.  I pray that God will help us become loving women of God who make a difference by the way people see us love.

 

{Life}

{Life} Envy is Rot to the Bones

UYM

Written By: Jillian Lancour

I am a huge lover of musicals and one of my favorites is Les Miserable. The story of redemption is so powerful to me and the music so impacting, I can’t help but just love it. One of the characters, Fantine, is a young woman who has a little girl out of wedlock. The man who fathered the child left her and so she was completely responsible for taking care of herself and the child all alone. The story is set in the 1830’s and so Fantine not having a husband was a huge deal. She decided to send her child to live with an innkeeper and his wife, so she could work and send them money to help take care of her daughter, Cosette. The story goes that Fantine was forced into prostitution to make money to send her child. In one of the songs, Fantine is in a hospital, dying, and she sings a song about being with her daughter. In Fantine’s dying moments, her dream is that she is spending a normal day with Cssette.

Cosette, it’s past your bedtime

You’ve played the day away

And soon it will be night.

Come to me, Cosette, the light is fading

Don’t you see the evening star appearing?

Come to me, and rest against my shoulder

How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder.

When I hear Fantine’s song and think about how badly this poor mother so desperately just wanted to be with her child, doing normal mommy stuff, it breaks my heart. She wasn’t focusing on her situation or her status, she just wanted to be mommy. On her death bed, she showed a gratitude to just be able to love her child. Too often, I take advantage of the precious time I get with my children. I have spent so much time focusing on the things I don’t have or the kind of life I don’t live, that I have sometimes missed the joy of what I do have.

It’s easy to forget the simple blessing of being able to tuck your children into bed, watching them play, being the one who gets to wipe their tears and cuddle them. I know that I have allowed outside distractions steal my joy and change my mood. Ultimately because satan is a thief and a liar, he wants nothing more than for us to be absorbed with other things and keep us from being attentive and joyful mommy’s and daddy’s. When I’m focusing on comparing myself to other moms on pinterest or instagram, it takes away from feeding positivity into my children. When I compare, I start thinking that my life is so far from perfect that I then feel depressed and that is robbing my children of a mother who is joyful and content in the blessings that God has bestowed upon her.

We need to stop letting envy and comparison into our hearts and homes. Proverbs 14:30 says that envy is rot to the bones; it’s not just a feeling that quickly comes and quickly goes. Envy stays and it starts impacting your spirit and emotions. And before you know it, your whole family feels it’s destruction.

I encourage you to go back to the old hymn Count Your Blessings and literally reflect and thank God for what He has done in your life. When we take time to be grateful for what the Lord has given, it starts to melt away the insecurities that comparison brings. God loves you so much and His promises never stop being true. When we seek Him with our full hearts and attention, satan doesn’t have a strong chance of swaying us towards negativity. Your attitude and time is precious. Your children want their mother to live in her truth and that truth is that no matter your circumstances, the size of your home, the amount of money in your bank account, or the number on a scale you are worthy, beautiful, and awesome. They believe that. God knows that. Live in truth and practice a spirit of gratitude. Count Your Blessings and don’t allow time to go by comparing your lives to others. You are uniquely blessed and that is something to find joy in.

~ Jillian

Uncategorized, {Worth}

{Saturday Mornings} Failing to See Potential

UYM
Written By: Julie-Ann Sanderson
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, – Ephesians 3:20
What is potential?  According to the Oxford Dictionary, one of the meanings of potential is “Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.”  It is something we all have, so why do we fail to see it in others and why do we sometimes fail to see it in ourselves?
Underestimating another person is something we are all guilty of doing.  We can be blind to the abilities and talents of others especially if we have known them for a long time or we haven’t bothered to get to know them enough to realise what they are capable of doing.  It is truly a case of judging a book by its cover and by failing to see their potential, we fail to help them to achieve it as well.
Failing to help others to be the person God wants them to be can also be detrimental to us.  It can show others how self-centered we can be when we miss out on helping others find their potential.  Our friends value our opinions and when we ignore their attempts to find out what they can do, the damage that is done can sometimes be irreparable.  When we do realise what they can achieve it makes us feel sad and in some ways ashamed because we made the wrong assumptions or choices in regards to what they can or can’t do.
We all have skills and abilities that lie dormant within us and failing to find out what they are can be just as bad as failing to see them in other people.  God has placed inside us everything we need to make our lives a success for both Him and us.  Most of the time we start finding out what our potential is – maybe in a dream or a vision or a passion that comes from out of nowhere or in some other way. Whichever way it starts, it is up to us to recognise it and do something about it.  We have to overcome fears and the failure of others to see the potential within us to use our potential for the glory of God, the one who gave it to us in the first place.
God wants us to have a life full of potential, which is more than some of us can imagine for ourselves or for others.  He doesn’t want us to fail in either finding it or helping it grow.  We need to learn to look for potential and to do something with it.  For others, it may be encouragement, support or understanding e.g. listen to those ideas, read that story or to simply join with someone in prayer to find out if God is in it.  Even if nothing comes of it, then you can go away with the knowledge that you didn’t fail the other person.
As for ourselves, when that seed of potential sprouts, we need to explore our options, seek advice from others and most of all pray to God to show us where He wants us to go.  Any skill, ability or interest that we are passionate about is there for a reason.  It forms part of the gift of potential God has for us and failing to see it is throwing that gift back at God.
The potential you have and the potential others have has been placed there by God to further is Kingdom.  Don’t make the mistake of failing to see it.
~ Julie-Ann
{Love}

{Love} Love. What is it?

UYM

Written By: Hannah Kittle

Love.  It’s one of the most common words in the English language.  We use the word to say that we like everything from that special person to that blouse that girl was wearing.  We tend to think of love as something as shown by pictures on social media and movies.  Big red hearts, chocolate, gifts, and whatever else people receive for Valentine’s Day.  But what if I described love to you as something hard, painful, and something that takes a whole lot of work?  What if I told you that love is better described by the words, unconditional and tough? What if I told you that sometimes loving somebody isn’t having that warm fuzzy feeling about someone?  Instead it feels you’re using every single ounce of self-control to not yell at that person or shake some common sense into them.  Often times we say things like, “I just can’t love so-and-so because of this thing they did to me or because of what they said about me or told about me.”  May I make a confession?  Those statements come out of my mouth way too much.  I really struggle with loving people like Christ has loved me and commanded me to do.  I say in the morning before I go to college, “Lord, help me to love my friends, classmates, teachers, and whoever else I come in contact with.” Then I get to school and get into class with them and it takes all my self-control not to speak my mind or shake them.  As soon as I think those thoughts though, I feel my conscience prick me.  I realize that I’m not loving them the way that Christ has asked me too.

How does God ask me to love?  Is there a difference between love as described by the dictionary and the love that God asks me to display? Let’s take a look.  Love as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary is, “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship; a person you love in a romantic way.”  Man’s definition is basically boiled down to feelings.  Love is a feeling that we have when we care about someone and is something that can be traded for hate just as easily as we change our clothes. To the world, love is something arbitrary and when the happy, fuzzy feelings wear away we simply call it quits and walk away.  It’s not worth fighting for.  Like most things in our society, it’s easily exchanged and replaced by another feeling or another thing that allows us to repeat the cycle all over again.

So what is God’s definition?  In the Greek language we find four words, Agape, Phileo, Storge and Eros that are all translated as “love” in the English language.  In the Bible we find all except Storge.  So if each of them mean love, why are there four of them? Let’s unpack these four words and the differences between them together.  Agape is the love most commonly used to talk about the love that God has for us and the love we are asked to exhibit to one another.  Eros is where the English word, “erotic” comes from.  It’s dealing with more sexual love.  Phileo love is better translated as a strong friendship. In English we tend to say this is the kind of love we have for chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, dark chocolate, Jane Austen movies, shopping, friendships, and whatever else.  Storge is used to describe love between a husband and wife, siblings, and parents and children.  Three are used in the Bible: Agape, Storge, and Phileo.  Agape is the most common type of love we see in the Bible.  Let’s take a minute and talk specifically about this kind of love.

Agape love is the love we hear used when it’s talking about God loving us and the love we are commanded to show others.  This is the love talked about when Jesus asks Peter three times, “Peter, do you love me?”  It’s also the kind of love that God asks us to love others with.  This is the kind of love that we need to show others even when it’s the last thing we want to do.  Agape love is the kind of love used in John 3:16 where it says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”  Most of the time where “agape” is used it has to with verses where it talks about the love that God had for us that caused Him to send us His Son.

Isn’t that absolutely amazing?  God loved us, us insignificant, sinful people, enough to send His Son.  His love was great enough to see past man’s sinfulness and rebellion.  He loved us enough to have a plan in place that when we choose to sin, He was prepared to redeem us back into fellowship with Him.  His love was the kind that can’t be equaled.  The ultimate expression of love was on the cross 2000 years ago.  We may think that we’ve seen love in a movie or had it given to us by a special someone, but the best and ultimate expression of love was displayed on a cross 2000 years ago by a perfect man who never sinned and yet he bled and died for us to pay for our sin.  We think that love looks like hearts, roses, chocolate, and warm feelings when in all actuality love looks like blood, sweat, tears, pain, and agony.  The face of love doesn’t look like a movie star or a special other.  The face of love looks like a man whose face is the picture of agony wearing a crown of thorns, bearing his own death warrant.

Love is the words, “IT IS FINISHED.” (John 19:30)

This kind of love is the reason that we demonstrate this love by loving even when it’s hardest.  We love people even when they cheat off our homework, hurt us, say things about us behind our backs, turn their backs on us, lie to us, and abuse us.  Why do we love them? We love them because God loved us. We love them because the same actions that hurt us are the same ones that we’ve done to God.  We have hurt, lied to, and turned our backs on God more times than anyone has done or ever will do to us.  How can we say that we can’t love anyone when God has shown us so much love?

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.” (1 John 4:11) God asks us to do what is hard, not what is easy.  He promises us that the life of a Christian will not be easy.  But He has made another promise.  He has promised us that He will not give us a trial too great to bear.  If loving were easy then we wouldn’t have so many verses in the Bible talking about love. 551 times the word “love” is mentioned in the Bible.  “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:44-45) Many of the times when “love” is mentioned in the Bible it is used in connection with loving others even when its hard and tough to do so. God’s love is the kind that even when man is still in full-on rebellion against Him, He loves them enough to give them good things.  He still causes the sun to shine on the righteous and unrighteous and blesses them.  Despite all of man’s shortcomings and failures, He still loves us.  Ephesians 2 talks about how even when we were at enmity with God He still loved us enough to make a way to make peace with Him.  Even though we deserved death and the wrath of God, His love was enough to break past the wrath He had for our condition.

Love isn’t something easy.  It is certainly easy to use the word, but so much harder to live out the word.  Sweet girl, as I write these words God is working in my heart.  This is a lesson I’m constantly having to learn.  I’m always having to learn to love.  I’m always having to ask God for forgiveness for not being the loving Christian He wants me to be.  Even though it hurts to love, I’m called to love.  I’m called to show the same love that God has shown me.  Is it easy?  No.  Is it something I want to do?  No.  But is it something I need to do?  Yes.  Let’s work to be loving women of God that change the world by the way we love others around us.

5-15-16-011Hannah Kittle is best described as a sinner saved by grace.  She currently is a high school senior taking dual-enrollment classes at two different colleges and is headed to nursing. She has a heart for the unsaved, seeks to serve God by serving others, and desires to shine as a light to others to draw them closer to God.  Her two life Bible verses are Joshua 1:9 and Jeremiah 29:11-14a

Hannah loves reading, shopping, and being with people whether it be young or old people. She has a calling upon her heart to serve others and to love others even when it’s tough. She believes that God is calling her into nursing or the medical field in general to best accomplish this purpose. She is waiting and praying for the man that God has for her and her heart’s prayer for her life is that others would see Christ through her, her words, and her actions.

 

 

Jillian's Posts, {Faith}

{Faith} Joshua 10:25

UYM

Written By: Jillian Lancour

It was March of 2013 when my little 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with Hip Dysplasia. It was devastating news with a mix of relief. My daughter Kaydi had been seen by three different Pediatricians, who all told us different reasons why my little girl was slow to learn to walk and when she did learn, why she walked with an extreme limp. We heard things like: “This is just how she was born.” or “She’ll grow out of it.” But I knew this wasn’t normal and I knew there had to be a reason and a solution. I didn’t give up and after taking her to a specialist, it turns out, her little leg bone was not even attached to her hip. It was resting on tissue and this also meant that she would have to have a major surgery and wear a full spica cast for 10 weeks, followed by physical therapy and a second surgery.

During this time in our life, my husband was a truck driver and would be gone for weeks at a time. We also had a one year old. Because of his schedule, he wouldn’t be there for the surgery or the summer when she would need us both the most. We lived in Florida and Kaydi being in a full lower body cast, as a three year old for 10 weeks almost seemed too daunting. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it all. I missed my husband and I knew I would have to really step up and be both mom and dad. Thankfully, I wasn’t completely alone. My mother in law came to stay and help me and I also had my family as well for support.

To keep my spirits high, I spent a lot of time telling myself to be STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. I would pray for God’s strength to replace my own weakness and to help me get through every single day but what I found was that God really worked through my little girl to speak to my heart. I have never seen such strength in a little person. She took it all like a champ. Every obstacle, we tried making fun, and she went right along with it. A few times when I ended up breaking down in tears because I missed my husband, exhaustion, or even just “this isn’t fair for her”, my little Kaydi told me that it was going to be okay. My little girl, all stitched and bandaged, in pain and uncomfortable, and she was comforting me.

I attribute her amazing attitude to her faith. Kaydi, from a very little age, demonstrated a passionate love for God. She believes fully that He is her Lord and she trusts Him to take care of her. Her child-like faith is inspiring to me and still is. She didn’t question one time why this happened to her. She didn’t complain. There is so much I can learn from her.

Kaydi is now 7 years old and we’re still working through some issues with her leg but she is completely healed and extremely active. I am very grateful. What I took from Kaydi’s surgery and her recovery is to remember that God is always strong and when we feel helpless, He comes alongside us and lifts us up. Sometimes bad things do happen and we wont always know why but our attitude and faith can make all the difference in the journey. He is so good. I loved seeing God shine through my little one and it will always be an example to me of true faith.

Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Jillian

Jillian is a bubbly wife and a mother to two precious little girls. She full-time blogs at ScriptureAndHeelsBlog.com and is getting ready to tackle Homeschooling. She loves thrift store fashion, pancakes, and dating her hubby. Her background is in Theatre and Christian Life Coaching. Psalm 138:3 

Hilary's Posts, {Faith}

{Sunday Mornings} Finding Victory in Christ

UYM

Written By:  Hilary Cobb

Monday morning of this week. My kids started bickering the moment they woke up, my son announced he was completely out of pants (and it’s 40 degrees in the morning here), and I couldn’t find the dress pants I needed for work. I felt edgy, irritable and resentful. I was driving my kids to school, and I realized I was already completely and utterly overwhelmed. And it was only 7:50am.

I dropped off my children and drove to work. As I pulled up to my job, I could barely muster up the motivation to get out of my warm car and venture into the cold. I felt defeated before I even opened the door.

Just as I was getting out of the car, a song came on the radio. “My Victory” by Crowder. As I listened to the lyrics, the last line of the chorus just about knocked me over:

A cross meant to kill is my victory

I was immediately convicted. Was I acting victorious? Was I living each day remembering that Jesus gave his life so that we would have victory over everything? Or was I acting beaten down by my daily struggles?

Sure, it’s easy to know intellectually that God has given us victory over death and sin, but in the day-to-day moments, when I struggle with anger, fear and bitterness, it is so easy to forget that God has given us victory. I am not a weak, pathetic person, controlled by my own negative thoughts and circumstances. I am a victor!

There are so many wonderful verses about victory in Him. Deuteronomy 20:4 says, “For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”

1 Corinthians 15:57-58 reminds us: “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

These verses remind me that I am not meant to stay overwhelmed and defeated by my children, my life, or my finances. God has given us the ultimate weapon in the form of victory over everything, even death.

For those of you who are feeling overwhelmed, defeated, or crushed by the day-to-day stresses – a bounced check, sick children, the check engine light pops on yet again – remember that you are a victor over all of it. A champion because of God’s incredible power and love for us. Jesus said “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

You don’t need fancy weapons, perfect children or the nicest house to feel victorious. John tells us, “for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (1 John 5:4-5).

All we need is Him to defeat those dangerous enemies of fear, anger and insecurity. That powerful realization sustained me as I opened my car door and stepped out to face my day. Not as an anxious, frazzled mess, but as a victorious daughter of the King.

~ Hilary

photositeHilary Cobb is a born-and-raised California-girl who now lives in beautiful Boise, Idaho. She lives with her amazing husband of 12 years and their two beautiful (but crazy-makin’) children. Hilary received her master’s degree in social work in 2008 and works as a therapist part-time, doing counseling with children, adults and couples. She is also the Family Ministries Director for her church, speaks at events and schools, and writes for her blog: www.blessedbyhislove.com. When she has some downtime, she loves coffee, running and crochet! Her life verse is Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up,” and she is grateful that God has allowed her to serve Him throughout her life.

A blog about God, life and love from a social worker mom!
Melanie's Posts, {Worth}

{ Worth} More Precious Than Rubies

UYM

Written by: Melanie Pickett

I’m a writer and a blogger. That means social media is a pretty significant part of my every day world. We see a lot on social media: happiness, fitness journeys, fashion, relationship success, great report cards. Many social media outlets are a sort-of scrapbook of the highlights of our lives.

They’re wonderful for keeping up with old friends and new and family, displaying pictures and being able to be part of loved ones’ lives from afar.

But social media can also be only the highlights reel—only showing the happy and good aspects–and that can leave many people feeling left out and “less than”. We look at others’ lives and start wondering what we’re doing wrong that we don’t have such a fabulous home, car, wardrobe, or mate.

I remember when I first started out writing online and launched my Facebook writer page and Twitter. When I’d look at other writers’ pages, I’d feel a pang of inferiority when I’d see several hundred or several thousand page likes. There I was, just praying to reach one-hundred. Look at them with thousands of followers, all those people who think they’re great and are reading every word they write. I was envious and deflated, thinking nobody will ever adore my writing like that.

We often scroll through our feed and see what appears to be perfect couples with perfect families who have perfectly tidy homes, excellent jobs, lavish vacations, new cars, Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, and we feel like the less than.

We start to wonder if there’s something wrong with us if we don’t feel head-over-heels in love with our spouse every second; or if we’re bad parents if our kids don’t get all A’s or if we’re single. We wonder if maybe we’re failures if we struggle to pay some bills or if we can’t take a vacation this year (or last year) or if our car has a little rust on it.

If we post something and only get a couple of likes, those thoughts go through our heads that people don’t think we’re pretty or that our life is less than interesting or…maybe people don’t really even like us at all!

It feels like one giant popularity contest sometimes. But take heart, friend. Our worth was never and will never be in social media or what we have or even in what people think of us. Our worth is in Jesus. He determined how priceless we are when He died on the cross long before we ever existed. Jesus was thinking of us when He hung agonizingly on the cross. He died for all of us, but He would have died for just one of us. Let that sink in and truly absorb that.

A quick search can show us dozens of verses in the Bible showing God’s love for us and some even specifically speak to our invaluable worth. One of my favorites is “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15.

Next time you or a friend is feeling “less than”, I challenge you (and myself) to look up Bible verses about worth. Check out your real worth, what God says it is. He knows us intimately and He made us, knit us together before we were born and was equipping us for the calls He has on our lives.  You are precious in His sight, and please don’t ever forget that.

Be encouraged,

Melanie

 

mpMelanie Pickett is a writer, blogger, and speaker who uses her words and domestic violence experience to educate and encourage others about healthy relationships and knowing their worth.    Melanie is currently completing her first nonfiction book and contributes at Defying Shadows and is an entertainment editor at Sonoma Christian Home. Melanie’s work has been featured on The Mighty, HuffPost, BlogHer, Splickety Magazine, and Whole Magazine. Melanie calls west Michigan home where she enjoys life with her two teenage children, her husband, and a black pug named Gracie.

Melanie’s blog: Melanie S. Pickett

 

 

Kerrington's Posts, {Faith}

{Faith} 10 Days later.

UYM

Written By: Kerrington Sweeney

10 days later…
It was May 1st, 2016, the beginning of a brand new month. A chilly spring afternoon. Didn’t know it then but can tell you now, I didn’t really have a clue that later on in to the evening, I would be entering into a brand new season for the rest of my life. A season I had waited for, desired for, and prayed for, for many months. Something I wished now that I had more time to prepare for.

That evening Joshua asked for my father’s blessing in a dating relationship. I was beyond flattered. I would be dating the young man of my dreams. He was truly my hearts greatest desire.

That evening Joshua and I went for a stroll, even in the chiller weather, we didn’t care. It was exactly 8 side walk blocks away from my bonogolo-styled home into our walk, that the moment I had waited for, for so long had came true. Joshua asked if he could have the honour of being my boyfriend and of course, I couldn’t say no to that sweet guy! Nor did I ever want to 😉

The first step we took hand in hand as a dating couple…even if it was just around the block, we had no clue, we had just entered into a place of war in our lives.

An unknown place. A place of finding a new balance. Filled with fears, emotional highs and lows. A place of finding pure love in the culture we live in.

It was…
10 Days of just two.
10 Days of joy.
10 days of sweet contentment.
10 Days without worry.
10 Days without fear.
10 Days without anyone “looking up” to us.
10 Days of just Joshua & I getting to know each other on new levels of vulnerability.

It was on the 10th day of our happily ever after relationship, I received a phone call on our first date night out at a local coffee shop. This call would make or break our relationship. This call would mold us into the people we are today. This call would change our lives drastically forever.

The very next day early in the morning,
I was hired as a Children’s Pastor at a church, 2 towns away from mine at the age of 18.

I left the church that day after being officially hired, with excitement and mounds of fear. Anxious thoughts, unsettled emotions and complete unrest, swirled around me as I attempted to ‘hold it together.’

Joshua & I were no longer, just Joshua & I.

We had just stepped into something so fresh. I had no words to describe the emotions I was experiencing through that time. All I could do was chain myself to the words of hope the Lord had given me:
You were created to be fearless, by the fearless one.

The Giants would come, the many never ending expectations would come, the oppressing constant pressures would come, the corrupted voices of the enemy would come, and the twisted words and labels on us would come. But we knew, they were NOT our portion. We knew we didn’t have to be enslaved.

We knew what we were getting into saying “Yes” to God. We knew the possibilities, we knew the stats, we knew that this could potentially ruin and fracture the foundational moments in the beginning stages of our relationship. Yet, we said yes. The calling of ministry God had placed upon us, we then turned around and placed it at His feet.

Giving Him our all.

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Unsure of really what else I was to do, I sought refuge in one of my close mentors and asked him to cover me in prayer. I knew, I could share with him in this journey. I knew, that I could trust him, with this special portion of my heart. I just knew that I knew, he was placed in my life to truly lighten my load. Especially, when my load unexpectedly became a little heavier than usual.

Continued Next Week with “10 Days Part 2.”

Until Next Time,

~Kerrington

Uncategorized

{Faith} Transitions.

UYM

Written By: Kerrington Sweeney

Here it goes, today we are going to be talking about Transitions. Transitions that happen frequently, transitions that we can see and expect and transitions that are unknown to us until we are in the thick of it.

My entire life has changed this year and let me tell you, it was a joyful, yet painful and a stretching season of my life. I was about to enter into the craziest transition and I can truly say now…I was not at all ready for what was ahead of me.

Now I don’t know about you. But for myself I can personally say, that when I am entering into something brand new, I like to have familiar faces around. I know some of us as young adults still attend Doctors appointments that our Mom’s have scheduled for us. There is just something about having that figure in your life to look to, in a time of tremendous transitions.

A true sense of comfort is found in familiarity. 

I remember a time in my life, where I was riding parallel on the tracks of life with many friends.

Experiencing the same scenic routes, going through similar struggles, and bending on the same curves on the tracks of life.

Being stopped at the same crossways. Getting refuelled at the same conferences and church events. Volunteering in many different areas together and growing stronger in our faith. But there came a time, where the parallels weren’t and couldn’t be parallel any longer. It was a time of direction changes for many. An entrance into the season of the unknown. A roundhouse was upon us.

Things that were established and always constant in life weren’t about to be anymore. Familiar places and faces where that comfort was truly found, would be ripped right from underneath us.

As teens, we were guided through our high-school years on a track that was forged by our parents. (For example for me: Attending church with my parents, eating at the same restaurants as my parents. Going to the same family outings with my parents…the list could go on)

This was a straight track guided and directed by them.

Which most of us willingly followed along this path with them and maybe some of us got a little tired of it and tried to start forming our own track earlier on.

Now a little history lesson for us all, Early steam engine locomotives normally travelled forwards only back in the day. (Just like we did with our parents guiding us through our teen years…)

Although reverse operations capabilities were soon built into these steam engine locomotive mechanisms, the controls were normally optimized for forward travel only, and the locomotives often could not operate as well in reverse.

Turntables allowed locomotives to be turned around for the return journey and for the next tracks ahead of them. These places, now known as roundhouses were designed to radiate around the turntables. They were built to service, store and restore these locomotives for certain time frames of being in use and not.

I entered my roundhouse of life at the same time as many of my friends. I watched them metaphorically speaking, come into their own roundhouses, being refuelled, having a drastic direction life change and then off they were on to the next chapter of their lives. Already traveling down a brand new set of tracks on their own, without me.

My experience in the roundhouse was a little different,

I got pulled into what they call the “back storage area” of a roundhouse and there I was kept for awhile.

During that uncertain time in my life I had just felt that I was about to be released in to my calling, into the next chapter in of my own life. I loved volunteering. I loved serving. I loved everything about my life. I always had felt a call to ministry and I thought this was how it was all going to begin. I found my “sweet spot” so to say. I began to gain a level of comfort with where I was at, at that point.

Personally I thought, that I was just about to pull out of that season of being in the roundhouse storage area and then…God had other plans.

Another fact about locomotives pulling out of the roundhouse for the first time after being in storage for awhile is…That they always drag them out very slowly to get them started on their next part of the journey. 

They want to make sure that the areas they have oiled,  refuelled, and fixed up are still working in proper order before beginning the journey ahead. 

As I thought I was slowly being pulled out of my life roundhouse, I was quickly thrusted back in and kept in.

In storage, in safe keeping, and under the watchful eye of my Heavenly Father. In the dark and the unknown, I waited…

In the early spring of 2015, I was physically attacked by a horrific, unknown virus. I was emotionally drained and spiritually on a desperate searching quest. In search for something to quench my never-ending thirst of strength in my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Resulting in, me spending several horrific nights in the Emergency Room…waiting hours and hours in search of answers.

That season was absolutely lifeless. No growth took place, rather the roots of a health filled life-style, were ripped out from underneath me. I felt weary, defeated, and ragged. My soul was in pieces, scattered around, limp with no life left within me.

Failure. Defeated. Worthless.

These were the words so often spoken in my mind, on a vicious cycle that seemed to never end. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of mystical voices. I was numb to the Lord’s presence. I had no emotional balance. I was knee-deep in a place of utter chaos and complete confusion. A season of wandering, searching, and questioning God.

A choice was placed in front of me. Would I begin to take up the quest in hope of finding my authentic purpose once again, or would I continue to lay limp, life-less in a state of complete exhaustion?

My weary soul felt no reason to pray. No reason to read my Bible and not even an ounce of reason to attend a church service during that time. I was tired. Weak. Ready to, in all honesty, give up.

“What was the point anymore?”, I thought.

This soul was mine. I, Kerrington, had to take ownership of it. No longer was I being a slave to the fears, raging inside of me. This was not my portion and I knew that I knew, something had to give. It was a season full of hardship. Harsh words, temptations, and faithless defeat. Unsettledness, sleepless nights, and never-ending tears. Oh, and change. Lots of it.

A season of questioning what truly defined me. Crammed with medical tests and procedures. Ugly moments and real jealousy. It was a season, I thought I had truly fell in love and then, got my heart recklessly broken.

The season of learning to love and somewhat trust once again. Full of higher than high mountain tops and lower than low valleys of deep feelings and insecure emotions. The season of pursuing, a true balance for my life.

It was a season of realignment and of a complete shift that took place. A brand new purpose and an intimate calling was being birthed directly into my weary heart, into my very spirit. I would either embrace it with open arms, wholly surrendered or I would resist it, and be shaken to the very core of my being and be tested on my every move.

God was calling my heart deeper through this year and I honestly was struggling to trust Him through it all.

I was so ready to leave that season of my life behind.

I desperately wanted to leave that roundhouse. I wanted a new direction. I longed for a safe place. A place of refuge. A place where I could just…belong.

But then friends, ……..Jesus. I think at times I often forget, especially in the fast-paced culture we abide in, that God is such a personal God. We forget that He deserves our undivided attention first and foremost.

We just need to Stop. Seek. Pray. Reach and Regenerate. Because, He’s there.

He’s there in those moments when you could just break down and cry. He’s there celebrating with you in your greatest achievements. He’s there in the stormy crashing waves of life, and He’s there in those moments of sweet peace and stillness. He’s with you in hardship and in worship. In agony and in freedom. He’s always there.

For awhile, It was quiet. I asked the Lord many times, “When will it be my turn?” “When will I have the opportunity to leave this place of storage? This place of the unknown?” “When Lord?” 

It was about 3 months, after I had prayed those words of desperation, that I not only got pulled out of my roundhouse, but I was thrusted out onto my own brand new set of tracks.

Not predetermined directions from my parents. Just me, myself and the Holy Spirit on a brand new journey of life together. A new level of trust had begun to be built.

It was exactly 3 months after those words left my lips,

and there I was….started dating the love of my entire life, I was hired as a Children’s Pastor at Amherstburg Community Church at the age of 18, I moved to a new church, passed my G2 license test and bought a car. Everything…All done within one month’s time. One thing after another. One change after another. One major life transition after another. My life was set before me and there I was riding down a brand new set of tracks on my own.

Trusting God when the battles came. Because, oh did they ever come. Ferocious and fierce did they come. War after war. Battle after battle. Tear after tear. Fire after fire. Physical. Emotional. Spiritual they came.

I had to trust God on new levels with every single area of my entire life, knowing that when I was riding through those dark tunnels, that He went before me, that He was the one waiting at the end of that dark unknown place, that He was my strength, that He was the director of my foot steps, my lead, my guide, and my Heavenly Father. Always…even in those rough times.

The verse that I cling to so often is the second half of Isaiah 43:2, it says…

“…when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

If you remember one thing from tonight, I encourage you to take note of this outstandingly- powerful quote from Lisa Bevere:

“God prepares you in private, to release you in the public.” 

The transitions, the roundhouses, the unknowns and the uncertainties during this season in our lives…Hand the keys over to God, let Him begin to be the leader of those things in your life. Let Him cleanse your weary heart. I know for a fact, beyond the shadow of a doubt that He has mighty, and prosperous plans for each of you.

Until Next Time,

~Kerrington

Guest-Writers

Infertility Story

UYM

Written By: Kristina Meece

The first time I was pregnant, we had been married for less than a year. I was only 20 years old. Just as soon as I found out I was pregnant, it was over. Just like that. Only my husband and I saw the faint blue positive line on the test. It was never confirmed by the doctor. It was before social media, smart phones and even digital cameras. No proof. Nothing. Just emptiness. Just nothing. One “friend” even said to me one day that because it happened so fast it was like I was never pregnant. Maybe it never happened. Maybe it was a false positive and there was never a baby. I carried that secret guilt around for a long time. Maybe I was never a ‘real’ mother. Empty. That is how I felt. Just empty.

I was still in college. We weren’t really trying, but we weren’t really not trying to get pregnant. My period were never regular. I never quite understood the whole fertility “thing”. My husband and I were just along for the “ride”. Yet, after several years, I was getting frustrated. Several of my friends were getting pregnant and I was not. I started praying Hannah’s prayer. I also pleaded with God. “Make me a mom and I will be the ‘cupcake, craft-making, zoo-taking-ist’ mom you’ve ever created.” In 1997, I went in feeling ‘weird’ and got the call that I was pregnant. Three months pregnant to be exact. Who knew? I had my daughter May 1998. We named her Hannah. Seemed appropriate for all the praying I did.

When Hannah was around 18 months, I was done with college and had a full-time teaching job. We thought it was time to start trying for another baby. (Notice there was very little praying about it from us.) My periods were still irregular. Knowing how long it took to get pregnant with my daughter, I headed to a regular OB/GYN.

I had great insurance, and at that time, referrals were easy to get. My doctor immediately referred me to a fertility specialist. I just knew I would be pregnant within 6 months. I still giggle at the naivety of that moment.

First came the paperwork and lots of it. Embarrassing paperwork. There was nothing left to the imagination when the paperwork was completed. Nothing. My entire life stripped bare for the entire medical world to read. But…I wanted a baby.

Next came the tests and lots of them. Plus, the charting that took months to do. All this in a few words but the time I spent waiting. Waiting in rooms and for test results to come back. That was the hardest part. I wanted a baby and I had no patience for tests and waiting and charting and disclosing all parts of my life to a doctor who “cared”. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. But…I wanted a baby.

Then, my doctor wanted me to lose weight. And, I did. The goal was 30 pounds. I wanted a baby. I started to eat right. I started to exercise. I lost that 30 pounds. Within that 6 months that I thought I was going to get pregnant,  I charted, had tests, waited and lost 30 pounds. But…I wanted a baby.

My husband and I had been trying for a baby for a year when I went to a woman’s retreat. I went up to be prayed over for the infertility and because I needed to know if I was pushing aside the one gift from God to be “selfish” in the pursuit of a second gift from God. The woman did pray over me. She said the ‘oddest’ thing to me. She said “Be patient. Wait on God’s timing. You will conceive again.” When? I wanted to know when? I wanted to shake the proverbial ball and know when.

My husband consented to be tested after a year and a half of charting and testing on my part. He was great. He was beyond great. He was super great. We left the doctor’s office and had a steak dinner to “celebrate” his test results. While this meant good news on that end, I was a tad jealous. That meant it was all my fault, in my eyes. I was the proverbial Rachel in this story. He could produce children, but not me.

That is when we did the round of shots. Right in the hip. For several days. I felt during that time I was going completely crazy. One night, I could have sworn one of the smoke detectors was going off. (It wasn’t.) I sweated all the time. I cried a lot. I was miserable. I felt like our lovemaking was just routine and just “let’s get it over with.” No joy. Nothing. Emptiness. And…I still got my period after all that. I cried for days.

I had one more test. One that hurt so bad that I thought my insides were being torn in two. We sat in the office. The doctor looked us right in the eyes and said “I’m sorry. You will never have children without going through in-vitro.”

I was done. I was done with having charts and tests and kits and everything. I told my husband that if we were going to make love again it was when we wanted to really make love. Nothing routine or empty. I cried a lot during that month. We made love once. I missed my period.

My doctor told me to come in. She said the fertility drugs were still messing with my body. She did an ultrasound. She told me to come back in two days. There was an egg sac, but because of the test she knew it wasn’t viable. They only way we could tell if it was viable was to wait for the heartbeat.

I started praying. I only told those very close to me what was happening because if the “egg” was stuck it would mean major surgery for me, and the “death” of the baby which devastated me even more. Two days I went back and was told to come back in two more days. They would know for sure by then. This time the waiting was horrific. I won’t even begin to tell you what my mind went through. I slept very little.

On June 6, 2001, I was once again waiting in a cold, dark room. For the first time in my life I prayed this prayer “God, I don’t know what to pray here. Whatever happens let it bring glory and honor to your name. Please intercede on my behalf. If this baby is viable, let this baby always bring glory and honor to You.”

The doctor began the ultrasound. I will never forget her words. “I don’t believe this. I don’t understand what happened here, but your baby is in the right spot and has a healthy heartbeat.” She turned the monitor and I saw this little beating heart. I said “All things are possible through God.” I do remember her going “Ummm Hmmm.” As if there had to be another reason why my unviable womb not just weeks ago had open up and accepted this little human being into it.

Today, Alexander is a healthy (and very tall) 14 year old boy who is a delight to everyone he meets. God has great plans for him.

The verse that I clung to after the woman’s retreat and all through his rocky pregnancy (which is another God-thing) is Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Secondary infertility is one of the most painful, dark experiences I walked through for many reasons. There is a God who goes before you. There are also women who have as well. He led me through this path so that I can share with you today that there is hope and healing. You are amazing. If you are struggling, you are not alone. I may not know your name, but I pray for you daily. One day you will share your story as well. Hang in there.

PS…I very rarely make cupcakes. I am not a crafty mom. I only take my kids to the zoo when it is cool weather or a birthday party. Funny what we pray when we are desperate.

~Kristina

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Bio: My name is Kristina. I am a 41 year old Rockin’ Jesus Girl. I will be married to my husband Eric 22 years this August. We have three children. Hannah, who is 18 and going to start a new life at Valparaiso University as a Freshmen in Environmental Science. Alexander, who is 14 and going to start a new adventure this fall as a freshman in high school.  Jillian, who is 11 and going to start her new adventure in middle school as a 6th grader. While I spent many years as a special needs teacher, God had other plans for me and I have spent the last 7 years as a stay at home mom. The last 4 years, I have had the awesome adventure of driving a school bus for our local school district. In my spare time, I love to volunteer at my church in many different capacities with the coffee house being one of my favourite places to meet God and his people. My favourite motto is C.O.F.F.E.E. “Christ Offers Forgiveness For Everyone Everywhere”.  I know that God has great things planned for me and I am so excited to meet Him there. Every day. Every moment is a miracle and I love sharing it.