Written By: Jenny Jerkins
There are times that it seems like the demands of being a mommy, wife, and just overall being a woman close in on us. We say yes to too much, we are shuttling kids everywhere, juggling careers and home life. Sometimes it’s just overwhelming and we literally scream for Calgon to take us away, preferably to a tropical landscape with a pool attendant bringing nonstop umbrella drinks. Or maybe that’s just me. But I would venture to guess that we all have moments, whether we are moms, wives, or just women in general that we need an escape from the daily hustle. We want to just “be” without a label. Literally some days I just want to make it out the door without some kind of stain or snot wiped on me, but then it’s such a beautiful reminder of my role as a mommy and something I waited years to have.
Not long ago I had the opportunity to spend an ENTIRE WEEKEND with twelve other girl friends at the beach. Hello! That’s a lot of hormones and personalities, and words, in one place. But it was awesome. It was such a relaxing time with no agenda, no tantrums, no schedule. We simply just got to fellowship and uplift one another, sleep in, laugh until our sides hurt, and eat all the Oreos wanted without hiding in the pantry to do so. I honestly think we consumed at least 8 to 10 packs of Oreos but I’m convinced all the laughing burned off those calories.
When I returned home that Sunday evening I realized how great for the soul that weekend was. And I also realized that I had grown much more weary than maybe I was willing to admit prior to leaving the previous riday. Sisters, it’s ok to admit we are tired and weary. We can’t do and be it all, and we have to take care of ourselves in order to be a better wife, mom, friend, employee, and all around woman. That’s not being selfish. It’s being real.
I have just five simple ways that help me recover when my soul is weary and when I feel like I physically or mentally cannot take another step forward – when I’m stuck. These didn’t come from a self-help book and I am my no means an expert on this, or well anything for that matter. They are just five simple things that work for me and I think are very practical and doable.
- BE IN THE WORD (aka, The Bible)
I know this sounds almost cliché to talk about, but it’s the number one thing that gets me out of a funk and the number one thing that also causes me to be in one if I’m not reading the Bible regularly. I’m not talking about hours of reading or trying to obtain a seminary degree. I struggle with setting that time aside as well. It doesn’t have to be first thing in the morning, although I find it sets the pace of my day when I start my day with the Word. If nothing else, find a great short devotional to uplift you and to set your focus on God for the day. Two that I recommend are apps that you can download directly to your phone and they are amazing – She Reads Truth and First 5 (Proverbs 31 Ministries). Get them. They are specifically for women, and are short yet full of wonderful truths.
- FELLOWSHIP (Girl Time)
Spend time with other women. Men don’t use the amount of words that we do in a day and they don’t require that bonding time that we do. And quite frankly they don’t always laugh at the same things that we do. Sometimes we just need to be together as women and talk about things that only other women will understand. Grab some coffee, go for a walk, or just sit and chat. Take time to pencil it in your schedule and hold it as sacred time for yourself. It’s such good, cheap therapy!
- FIND YOUR TALENT/INTEREST
We don’t all have a musical or even a remarkable hidden talent. Do something that relieves stress and do something for yourself. You don’t have to be amazing at it or have a talent that you are going to market and sale. It’s just for you and something you enjoy. And it is something that will take your mind off of “life” for a few minutes either every day (if you can swing it) or at least every week.
- ME TIME
I am a social introvert which means I love people and I love being around people, but I also require downtime to be alone. I need to just sit a few minutes every day and sometimes literally stare at a wall for a few minutes, take some deep breaths, and relax. Sometimes I read, sometimes I write, sometimes I watch my “trash” TV as I like to call it. Maybe your “me time” can be combined with your talent and interest. The thing is that you have to take some time for yourself whether it’s five minutes or an hour.
- DATE NIGHTS
We are very fortunate to have my parents close by who LOVE to have our son stay with them all the time. They are retired and at the stage in their life where he is the center of their attention, but they also realize how important it is for us to have that time just the two of us to nurture our relationship. Our kids need for us to have a healthy and happy marriage. Now not everyone is as fortunate as we are and I realize that. There have been times we haven’t had those opportunities as well. You may not be able to afford a regular babysitter. And as hard as it is and as tired as you already are, you can attempt to put the kids to bed a little early every now and then and watch a movie together or have a date night in. Have some time together, again even if you have to pencil it in a planner.
Find yourself, find the Word, and find your tribe of people. Rest in knowing you aren’t alone when the walls of motherhood and life are closing in on you. We all get weary and we all need breaks. After all, we are all human.
Jenny Jerkins is a former engineer turned stay at home wife to Asia, and mom to the most spirited and hilarious little boy, Ethan who currently believes he is Batman. Their battle with infertility led them to the greatest miracle of adoption. Jenny desires to bring hope, encouragement, and the love of Jesus to others, and especially women. She also loves to share the many candid moments of daily mom life where she is usually asking for Jesus to hold her. Jenny resides in Augusta, Georgia where her southern accent is strong and her coffee is stronger.