Written By: Pastor Kerrington Sweeney
Here I am sitting in the exact spot, where 7 weeks ago I had my last anaphylactic attack. Where my breath was stolen right from me, my heart rate was sped up to ridiculous beats per minute and my life flashed before my eyes, yet again.
People ask me often…”How did you do it?”, “How could you still say God was faithful?”, “How could you get up the next day, head to work, and act like nothing happened?”, “How could you even still have any joy when you walked through that fire?”
It’s questions like this that bring me to my knees. Oh Sisters, we serve an incredibly faithful God. Even through the fire, He’s there. Being told on more than one occasion by medical professionals that “We almost lost you there, that sure was a close one. Be thankful that you’re alive.”
To be quite honest it is not a comforting feeling, knowing that you almost lost your life…AGAIN. Moments like these dear sisters, is where fear creeps in like a thief in the night. Like John 10:10 says, “…The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;”
This is so very true. Time and time again between 7:30pm-9:00pm I would have my anaphylactic attacks. Fiercer and fiercer did they ever come. Worse every time. My faith was weakened to its breaking point. Like a thief in the night they came.
Although, while this was all happening…may I remind you, I was still keeping up my pastoral responsibilities. There I was… barley enough strength to get up and shower, I put on my “Pastor Hat”, left the fears raging inside me to rest, let the tears behind every comment that came my way roll to the back of my mind, put a smile on and pushed through.
Joy was absent. Fear was present. Hope had ceased.
“Why me, God?” was the constant thought and prayer of my weary heart.
Every prayer time, small group, staff meeting, and bible study I would raise a hand for prayer. Desperate in searching for answers. I couldn’t bare this weight on my own. My arms were tied together with old rusty, chains of fear and restraint.
Like I have said before, I hit the bottom of my rock bottom. A friend of mine one day texted me this verse and I was amazed at how much this particular verse applied to my current life situation. It was this exact text:
“Hello sweet friend. This verse is for you. Isaiah 43:2b says “…When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned…”
She continued on to encourage me to begin claiming this over my life ever time something happened or fear crept in, “Even when I walk through the fire…I won’t be burned.
After some time this began to be my hearts prayer, with every attack and bucket of fears that came my way…I would take moment, stop, and whisper to my Heavenly Father “No matter what, I won’t be burned. You are a faithful God.”
As I write this, I can vividly recall on the many times where I would be whispering this very prayer under the breath that I had left in me, riding in the back of an ambulance on my way to the hospital. “Even through the fire, I won’t be burned.” To this day, this has been my prayer. 7 weeks later anaphylactic reaction free. Thank You God, You are faithful! Sisters, if you remember this one thing, remember this…
“Even through the fire, you won’t be burned.”
Until Next Time,