Written By: Katie Reid
Two steps forward, two steps back. We come together ‘cuz opposites attract. It ain’t fiction just a natural fact. We come together ‘cuz opposites attract.
– ”Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul
Adam was a junior in high school when I was in my first year of college. I was looking for an older guy, so he didn’t grab my attention, although we went to the same church.
When Adam graduated he enrolled in the same college that I attended. We ran in some of the same circles and interacted more regularly.
I was in a season where I was tired of being burned by guy friends. I usually wanted to be more than friends but they had their sights set elsewhere (a.k.a. interested in my friends). So I resolved to stop having close guy friends and wait for Mr. Right. One of my friends pointed out that meeting Mr. Right might be difficult if I didn’t let guys get close.
Adam is a physical touch kind of guy and, because of my history in the guy department, I was annoyed by the way he hugged on the ladies. He was being friendly but I interpreted it as flirty. I had a self-righteous attitude that he did not find attractive.
We were like oil and water.
Imagine our friends surprise when we began dating years later. We had become best friends—apparently enough time had passed from my anti-guy declaration and I let my guard down. We were real with each other—not trying to impress the other.
My uptight personality helped motivate him and his laid back style helped me unwind.
Adam hung out at our apartment quite a bit. One night my roommates and I were quizzing him about which girls he had kissed. I remember wishing that I was one of them.
God removed the blinders from my eyes and I realized how good-looking Adam was. He had seen me at my worst and still stuck around, which was quite an attractive quality.
After this revelation, I was convinced that I not only wanted Adam to kiss me, I wanted him to be my boyfriend and hopefully husband too.
Adam had been in a unhealthy relationship, and gotten his heart broken, prior to our friendship. He was determined not to date unless it was to Mrs. Right—his future wife. So about a year after my realization that he was “the one”, and stalking him a little, he came to a decision.
He had been seeking the Lord for a clear answer on whether I was to be his wife. He wanted the answer to be “yes”, yet he wanted to know for sure. While mowing the greens at the golf course where he worked, Adam felt like God was flashing a neon sign overhead that said, “YES! YES! YES! Katie is the one.”
The day after I graduated from college, while sitting on a blanket under the dark sky in his parent’s front yard, Adam asked me to be his girlfriend. My response? “YES! And I’ll bet there are lots of hearts breaking in town tonight, now that you’re taken.”
Our short dating season was far from perfect. We went further physically than we should have and I often compared our relationship to the lofty ideals I read about in courting books.
Adam wisely said to me one day, “You know our love story is our story. It won’t be like someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good one.”
God has used our struggles to help other couples in similar positions. Of course we wished we would have chosen to do some things differently, but we are sincerely thankful that God has redeemed that time.
We are now able to speak into other couples’ lives and challenge them be more successful than we were.
We’ve had the privilege of witnessing some great marriages and delight in passing on the advice and example that we’ve been given. One of the ways Adam and I started doing this more is through our Wednesday night Periscope videos.
We entitled them, “Stop! Hammock Time”. We have a little too much fun sharing marriage tips, being goofy and encouraging others to connect with their spouse as we broadcast from our hammock. We’d love to have you tune in. You can watch the replays here: Katch.me: katie_m_reid
We do not have a perfect marriage, no one does, yet we seek to grow closer to the Lord and one another with each passing year.
I am so glad that God transformed our oil and water relationship and blended our lives in a messy yet iridescent display of His grace.
I love you Adam! Thank you for sticking by me and for helping me not take life too seriously. P.S. I don’t mind your hugs at all anymore. 😉
Katie M. Reid
word weaver | heart singer | hope speaker | photo taker
Bio: Katie M. Reid is a tightly wound woman, of the recovering perfectionist variety, who fumbles to receive and extend grace in everyday moments. She delights in her hubby, four children (and one on the way) and their life in ministry. Hot or iced tea and cut-to-the-chase conversations are a few of her favourite things. Through her writing, singing, speaking and photography, Katie encourages others to find grace in the unraveling of life.
Author of “Extra Salt on the Fries” a memoir piece found in Tales of Our Lives: Reflection Pond by Matilda Butler (available on Amazon).