WrittenBy: Marnie Pouget
As a second “mom” and mentor to many young men and women over the years, I often find myself faced with having to speak this message with as much compassion as I can. They can be hard words to hear, even harder to act on. They are difficult to speak but necessary.
Here is a letter similar to one that I wrote to one of my dear “kids”:
I love you and so, I am going to speak to you like I do my own kids.
Honey, he seems like a nice boy, and I am sure he must be or you wouldn’t like him however, he isn’t a Christian and you have no business being in a serious committed relationship with him.
God is clear when he tells us not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-18) It is for our protection and quite frankly I see it as protection for the other person also.
At some point you are going to decide to either go further in this relationship or end it. The likelihood of you marrying someone you dated in your teens is slim however, let’s say that your relationship does last that long- you will be in the situation of marrying an unbeliever. You can talk to anyone who has been there or talk to a child of parents in that situation and they will tell you THAT life is more than difficult.
Suppose he does become a Christian – will it be for himself and because of the conviction of the Holy Spirit or simply because he likes/loves you and wants to be with you? You won’t really know. Generally, the latter is the case. In fact I don’t know of any situation where the non-christian partner was led to Christ and continued to walk with the Lord even after the relationship ended. Unfortunately, I speak from lots of experience in this area.
So, let’s say you do break up – what will be the picture of Christ and Christians that he has? Most likely it will be that Christians are hypocrites and Christ is not about love because the person he loved left him because of God and His rules. You run the risk of turning him away from ever loving God or accepting His son’s death and the salvation He so freely offers..
Dearest, the reality is that God loves him a bazillion times more than you do and He desperately wants to pursue him and win his heart but you are, quite frankly, standing in the way. If you truly love him, I am guessing you want more than anything his salvation. Don’t rob him of this!!! Preach Christ to him through your actions and words. Don’t allow yourself to go further in this relationship and distract him from the Lord.
When you first became friends, I was quite excited that he could meet other Christians who could love him as a friend and speak truth to him through their testimonies and their lives. I was so excited to see how God was going to move through this friendship. I would still love to see Him move in this boy’s life but fear that He is being stifled because of your relationship.
Please listen to my words and consider them prayerfully.
I love you so much and don’t want to ever see you hurt. Just considering it tears me up inside.
Until Next Time,