Written by: Kerrington Sweeney
A weary, defeated, ragged soul stood before me. A soul that was in pieces scattered around, limp with no life left within her. Failure. Defeated. Worthless. Were the words so often spoken in her mind, on a vicious cycle that seemed to never end. She was numb to the Lord’s presence. She had no emotional balance. She was in a place of utter chaos and complete ridiculous confusion…A season of wandering, searching, and questioning, if she even had a purpose anymore was set before her. Would she begin to take up the quest in hope of finding true purpose once again or would she continue to lay limp, life-less in a state of dark defeat?
This weary soul felt no reason to pray. No reason to read her Bible and not even an ounce of reason to attend a Church service. She was tired. Weak. Ready to honestly… give up. What was the point anymore? She thought.
This soul, sad to say…was my own. Spiritually, physically, and emotionally collapsing on a daily basis. No strength to fight against the fiery attacks from the dark enemy. He came attempting with all his might to steal, kill, and destroy me. Oh, and did the attacks ever come…In these moments, tears of overflowing abundance came rushing in. As I sat up in bed one night, sharing this stressful struggle with my Mum, I felt so ashamed not being able to get through this season on my own.
My Mum though, shared such great amounts of profound wisdom with me. It was said in such a way of Love and never at all made feel shame or defeated. She was a true beacon of Light and Hope that night. I now step back and look at the entire situation and the healing process journey, I am now on I stand in awe, The Lord was with me every single moment.
Romans 5:8 “I loved you, at your darkest hour.”
A realignment and complete shift was taking place in my Life. A brand new purpose and an intimate calling was being birthed directly into my weary heart, into my very spirit. I would either embrace this, with open arms wholly surrendered or I would be shaken to the very core and tested on my every move. God was calling my heart deeper and I honestly was struggling trusting Him through it all.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans of prosperity and not for evil. Plans to give you a hope and a future.”
This verse was a bright light to me. I sat in awe of my Heavenly Father, as He showered me with such great amounts of His tangible unending love…All the moments of chaos and the many feelings of utter defeat…I didn’t even need to worry, because God has special plans and a great purpose in mind for my life before He even knit me together in my mother’s womb. He had and still has plans for me. He knew that I would go through this season and He knew that I would come out of it a stronger woman in my Faith. For everything there is a time and a season. Trust Him…As hard as it gets. Trust God with everything you’ve got and NEVER Give up!!
Until Next Time,