Written By: Carrie Arnold

It had overtaken me. Actually, it had overtaken my trellis. When we moved into our home almost 4 years ago, there already existed a stone back patio complete with a chimenea, an evergreen bush, and a wooden trellis. As it was spring when we moved in, the trellis was already blooming. It was covered in green leaves and vines, climbing this way and that, as well as beautiful flowers. It wasn’t until a stranger drove past our new home, knocked on the door and asked to see our trellis that I finally grew curious enough to ask what plant varieties had been originally planted. She informed me that there were Wisteria and Clematis. I didn’t know much about them but they sure did catch the eye.

Next follows a montage of repeating pictures through the seasons. During the first summer, I battled the beetles that dive bombed our patio during picnics. In the next spring, I discovered my severe allergy to the evergreen bush. When our second summer rolled around, I did some research to combat the beetles. As I sprayed them with natural oils, sometimes the insects fell off, most of the time into my curly hair, which sent me shrieking. Somewhere along the way I embraced the tangled beast and started pruning it back, most of the time because the vines were winding under my siding. Eventually I grew to enjoy the early summer mornings or late sunsets spent pruning the vines and leaves to make way for new growth.

I don’t have a green thumb but being curious-natured, I do have a desire to learn coupled with a strong desire to conquer. Since this has been an unusually warm winter, I decided to go to work with my shears in hand. As the robins sang in late February, I let my bare feet sink into the damp, cold earth. I have never done a winter pruning, though I should have before now according to the gardening books. I un-wove the vines and trimmed them back, leaving a few buds. I bent down low and cleared out seasons of growth and tangled leaves. I cleared out the old mulch. As I cut away I began to feel guilty. My sharp movements cut away new buds that were obediently responding to the warmer temperatures.

It was in this moment, the quiet moment, that I heard that still, small voice whispering “It’s time.”

It was time for the pruning. It wasn’t time for spring and buds. That time will come; perhaps after a late winter frost or quenching spring rains. God’s word speaks extensively about timing. His world sets the stage for guiding us through the seasons of life by using creation to show us the way. The most famous passage about timing, Ecclesiastes 3, is a beautiful dichotomy of creation. God’s world and our lives are separated into time; a time for beginnings and endings, a time for striving and resting, a time for dormancy and a time for growth.

I hope and pray my beautiful flowers never stop growing and climbing that trellis. It was planted with purpose and tended with care. May the same be said of me. I have been created with a purpose and a calling. My journey will have a beginning and an end. I have had moments of striving and resting. I have found myself in seasons of staying put or struggling to find my way but it is the moments of growth that challenge me the most. Those seasons are not easy and often times leave me feeling awkward, but it is God’s time. As I finished the pruning that warm February morning, I found myself smiling. I looked down and maybe saw a bit of green on my thumb underneath the dirt. The struggles of the pruning will not only produce flowers come spring but it reminded me of God’s pruning in my life. He desires beauty from my growth and His pruning is worth it.

Carrie Arnold is excitedly married to the love of her life, Adam. She has been blessed with 3 beautiful and healthy children. They keep her jogging through life’s obstacles. As she navigates the journey of homeschooling, teaching and serving through the local body of believers, she also seeks time to hike and pursue a passion for writing.

Written By: Christina Rich

In the last nine months, I’ve seen the birth of my first grandson and the death of my husband only three weeks later. It appears I’ve been playing the lead character to Solomon’s Ecclesiastics 3, which should come as no surprise since I had innocently, yet wholeheartedly asked God to grant me the wisdom of Solomon. A young mother of four small children, I believed that was the answer to successful parenting and wifing. Twenty-plus years later, even though I’ve experienced some pain and disappointment, I do not regret that prayer.

“There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven—” Ecclesiastes 3:1

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over the years is that no matter what our season, no matter what our circumstances, no matter the goodness, no matter the badness, no matter the births, no matter the deaths, no matter the planting or the uprooting, the killing and the healing, no matter the tearing down or the building up, the weeping and the laughter, no matter the mourning or the dancing, the stones gathered or thrown away, no matter the embracing or the lack thereof, the searching or the giving up, the keeping or the throwing away, the tearing or the sewing, no matter the times you choose to keep silent or the times you choose to speak, no matter the love or the hate, the war and the peace…no matter how much life chooses to bless you or how much it chooses to spew all over you, God will never leave us, He will never forsake us, and our circumstances never dictate His goodness and His love toward us.

And, I have come to find something beautiful in even the toughest seasons. Even in death. Sometimes it was after the fact, but in the last three years, I’ve grown to learn to trust God with the peace that surpasses all understanding in every season, which keeps me from striving and keeps me in rest.

Christina Rich is a mother of four children, a grandmother of one, a romance author with Love Inspired Historical and Forget Me Not Romances, a speaker, a photographer, and painter. She teaches writing workshops, which focus on writing for God’s glory. She also teaches classes on breaking word curses and breaking ungodly soul-ties. She is committed to carrying on the legacy her husband began before he graduated to heaven, which focuses on seeing people live in freedom, reconciling people to God through Jesus Christ, helping equip the saints for spiritual warfare, and preparing them for the return of Jesus.

You can connect with her on Facebook at Author Christina Rich, Twitter @Christinainspy, Instagram at inspyscribe, or at threefoldstrand.com

Writte By: Vicki Johnson

As a girl growing up I had dreamed of creating unforgettable characters like the ones I’d watched on the Carol Burnett Show. I tried out for every school play that came along. The love for acting shadowed me all my life.

I met and married my husband and we talked about the call to ministry, raising children, and the possibility of incorporating my love of acting into the mix.  Twelve years and five kids later, my desire for acting was upstaged as my role as wife and mother assumed the lead.  Discontentment eased into my heart as I watched my husband thrive in his call as Pastor. All the while I withered inside as I tried to fulfill my call as helpmeet and chief nose-wiper. I hated the resentment that was growing in me.  I hated the constraints I felt were holding me back from realizing my “full potential.” Passion seeks its own satisfaction, whatever the cost.

God and I had some intense conversations, aka monologues, where I begged Him to take away my desire to act but secretly prayed that He wouldn’t. The struggle within me got pretty ugly.

I believe the Lord showed me in a dream what I really was asking for. In it I saw my husband with our children walking the streets of our town, trying to track me down. I had left them to pursue my “dream.” David got a lead as to where he would find me and it brought him to a grungy sweat shop where I slavishly labored at a sewing machine.  I glanced up and saw the desperate love on his face as he waited for me to come to him.  Then I awoke. The meaning of that dream hit me like a ton of bricks. Was I really willing to forfeit my godly calling as wife and mother for bondage to a passion?

Surrender to the Lord often comes in bits and pieces. Over a number of years the conflict in me slowly died, along with the hunger to act. My desire to be faithful to David and the kids strengthened, outweighing my need to be in the limelight. My passion now was to be content in God, seeking His will, whatever the circumstances may bring.

Whew! Lesson learned.

Then one autumn day, my pastor hubby handed me a script with five character monologues, each one was 8-10 minutes long, for each week of the Advent season. “I’d like to preach sermons based on these characters,” he said. “Would you be willing to help me out? I know you’d do a great job.”

Wha-a-t?! Is this a test, God? I thought we closed this chapter in my life. How do I answer him? The blessed contentment I had been enjoying until that point began to fade. To be honest, I sort of resented having this carrot dangling in front of me.

An intense evaluation began in my mind. Do I:

1. Smile sweetly and respond with a quick, but decisive, “No, thanks. Not interested.”?
2. Sit down with my hubby and give a lengthy explanation why this would be going against God’s will?
3. Thoughtfully take the script in hand and say, “I’ll pray about it,” with no intent of doing any such thing?
4. Say “Give me a minute,” run into my prayer closet and have a heart to heart with God?

As I sought the Lord for clarity in this unexpected scenario the verse from 1 Timothy 6:6 came to mind – “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.”  God’s primary concern for me is not my happiness. His greatest delight is making me godly, conforming me to the image of His beloved Son, Jesus.

I gladly accepted my husband’s offer with an open heart of gratitude.

And then I realized that God delights in giving good gifts, in His time. In due season. As we have been prepared to receive them.

Vicki Johnson creates a lot of drama in southeastern Pennsylvania where she lives with her pastor hubby, David, and her daughter, Esther. She has written a Bible study entitled, “Following Christ – A Disciple’s Walk of Faith,” enjoys speaking, singing, working at 1075Alive/ WBYNFM as a part time announcer, writing her blog at Gracefilledgirl.com, and generally encouraging fellow Christians to walk in a way that pleases God. Her sign-off on the radio comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:24, “Faithful is He who calls you and He will bring it to pass.”

Written By: Julie-Ann Sanderson

So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. – Matthew 24:44

These days there are a lot of prophecies and interpretations about the timing of Jesus’ return.  One group says this and another group says that.  The problem with some of these prophecies and interpretations is that they are giving God a time limit or a specific time for His second coming.

The Bible clearly states that we don’t know the day or the hour of His return.  Jesus, Himself doesn’t even know it, so then how can man claim to know it?  Picking a specific time or date is in a sense giving carte blanche to mankind.  How many people would do whatever it is they wanted to do and then repent the day before if they knew when Jesus was coming back?

Giving God a time limit is something that humans have a habit of doing.  Our interpretations of what is written in the Bible can influence these time limits.  Our past experiences can also cloud our reasoning and sometimes make us see more in a Bible passage than there really is.  In some ways, the best interpretation of a passage is exactly what it says.

In the terms of Jesus’ return, it is stated plainly and simply:

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father (Matthew 24:36)

Our job is not to put a time limit or a specific date on His return, it is to be ready for it when it does come.

We should be acting and living like the day or hour could come at any minute.  The only advanced notice we have is that He is coming.  Wasting time with trying to work out or even debating about the exact time is something Jesus does not want us to do.  Knowing when is something we really don’t need to know.

The main priority in our lives is to be ready for the time He does come.  Learning and growing to be more like Jesus is a task that should take number one spot in our lives.  If we are not ready, then we are doomed and no amount of speculation is going to save us.  Instead of guessing the time of Jesus’ return, we need to be sure of where we and others are going.

If you are living your life with a time limit, then now is the time to stop.  We just don’t know what the future will bring, nor do we know when things will happen.  God is in complete control and we must trust that everything will happen in His time and not ours.  All interpretations of what the Bible says about the return of Jesus is at best a guess.  Just a guess made by a flawed human being.

No one knows when Jesus will be returning and we can’t pick a time for Him to come.  We need to be ready now.  Are you?

Written By: Julie-Ann Sanderson

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: – Lamentations 3:21

It’s one of those days where nothing is going right.  Problem upon problem adding to the mountain you already have.  You feel alone and unwanted.  Soon what was once the occasional bad day turns in a lot of bad days.

You go to others to get help but no one wants to help.  They’re all too busy dealing with their own lives to listen to your woes.  Finding someone to listen to you is a big task and it is tiring.  You’ve been left on your own and you are so worn out that you have no idea what to do next.

So, you turn to other ways to help solve your problems.  Drugs, alcohol, sex, over-eating and other demoralizing habits seem to offer a way to ease the pain and stress, or at least to forget it temporarily.  Before you know it, you have become dependent on these short-term fixes.

Eventually, these short-term fixes lose their appeal and you find another way out.  The burden is getting too heavy and there seems to be no solution in sight.  Maybe the time has come to end it all.  Leaving this world is the only option you have.  Right?

Wrong!  Those who are troubled need to be told and/or helped to remember that no matter what happens:

There is always HOPE.

Humans are the only living creatures on this planet that have the ability to hope.  We can look forward to tomorrow despite our today being the worst it can be.

Knowing that there is hope switches a light on inside of those who need it.  It makes them realize that all is not lost and there is a way to climb out of the pit they have found themselves it.  Like all things, finding the right people and things to help takes time, so they have to remember that hope is always closer than you think.

Jesus is our ultimate HOPE.

He is there not just during the good times but during the bad as well.  It is not a case of Him forgetting about us but us forgetting about Him.  All we have to do is acknowledge Him and go to Him as soon as the problems begin.  Don’t wait until things get so bad that you feel it is too late even for Jesus to help you.  Get up off the ground where you have been lying down after your last defeat, dust yourself off and start going forward with your focus upon Him.

If your problems are starting to overwhelm you:

Remember you are not alone.

Every person alive, at some point, has had the feeling that life is getting the better of them and they want to give up even if it is only for a few seconds.  Deciding how to deal with your problems is something we all should learn.  We need to know that we have Jesus there to help us.  He is the Hope that will save us and take us to new heights.

So, when you’re in the depths of despair, always remember Hope.

Written By: Julie-Ann Sanderson

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, – Philippians 3:13

Memories are something we all have in common.  We remember the good times; the bad experiences; family and friends who are no longer with us; and so forth.  While memories themselves are not a terrible thing, it is how we react and use them that can be.

The biggest mistake a lot of people make is to cling onto memories for one reason or another.  Some do it because they wish for life to be like it was back then.  Others hold on to past hurts which result in them having grudges or seeking revenge.   There are also some who refuse to let go of the past as they are too afraid to face the future.

Whatever the reasons are for hanging onto the past, one thing is certain that in the long run, it can be unhealthy.  People who keep looking back are in danger of losing their lives completely.  They get depressed because things aren’t the way they used to be.  For those who hold grudges and seek revenge, it leads to anger and resentment as they are unwilling to forgive and move on.  They can get so caught up in the past that they lose sight of others and themselves.

God doesn’t want you to live in the past.  He doesn’t want to miss out on all the things that the future holds for you.  The past helps us to grow but it shouldn’t shape our future.  Our focus should be what is ahead, not on what is behind.  If we don’t change this then we are in danger of standing still forever in the one place.  Lot’s wife in Genesis learnt this the hard way when she turned to look at her past in Sodom.

Even though the past helps us to become the people we are now, it shouldn’t define us and it shouldn’t stop us moving forward.  We can learn from the past but we can learn more from the future. Wishing things were like they were will not help make things improve.  Our Creator created us for better things and living in the past is not one of them.

Forgiveness plays a key role in letting the past go.  As the old saying goes, we should forgive and forget.  Those who hold grudges or are out to avenge the past hurts need to forgive others just as God has forgiven them so that they can step into the future without the burdens of the past holding them back.  The longer you stay in the past the harder it will be for you to let it go.

Paul tells us in Philippians that we must forget what is behind and keep our focus on what is ahead.  Looking backwards is something that is not in God’s plan for you.  What He wants for you is in front of you.  All you have to do is let go, turn around, face forwards and walk towards it.

Written By: Kristina Meece

The first time I was pregnant, we had been married for less than a year. I was only 20 years old. Just as soon as I found out I was pregnant, it was over. Just like that. Only my husband and I saw the faint blue positive line on the test. It was never confirmed by the doctor. It was before social media, smart phones and even digital cameras. No proof. Nothing. Just emptiness. Just nothing. One “friend” even said to me one day that because it happened so fast it was like I was never pregnant. Maybe it never happened. Maybe it was a false positive and there was never a baby. I carried that secret guilt around for a long time. Maybe I was never a ‘real’ mother. Empty. That is how I felt. Just empty.

I was still in college. We weren’t really trying, but we weren’t really not trying to get pregnant. My period were never regular. I never quite understood the whole fertility “thing”. My husband and I were just along for the “ride”. Yet, after several years, I was getting frustrated. Several of my friends were getting pregnant and I was not. I started praying Hannah’s prayer. I also pleaded with God. “Make me a mom and I will be the ‘cupcake, craft-making, zoo-taking-ist’ mom you’ve ever created.” In 1997, I went in feeling ‘weird’ and got the call that I was pregnant. Three months pregnant to be exact. Who knew? I had my daughter May 1998. We named her Hannah. Seemed appropriate for all the praying I did.

When Hannah was around 18 months, I was done with college and had a full-time teaching job. We thought it was time to start trying for another baby. (Notice there was very little praying about it from us.) My periods were still irregular. Knowing how long it took to get pregnant with my daughter, I headed to a regular OB/GYN.

I had great insurance, and at that time, referrals were easy to get. My doctor immediately referred me to a fertility specialist. I just knew I would be pregnant within 6 months. I still giggle at the naivety of that moment.

First came the paperwork and lots of it. Embarrassing paperwork. There was nothing left to the imagination when the paperwork was completed. Nothing. My entire life stripped bare for the entire medical world to read. But…I wanted a baby.

Next came the tests and lots of them. Plus, the charting that took months to do. All this in a few words but the time I spent waiting. Waiting in rooms and for test results to come back. That was the hardest part. I wanted a baby and I had no patience for tests and waiting and charting and disclosing all parts of my life to a doctor who “cared”. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. But…I wanted a baby.

Then, my doctor wanted me to lose weight. And, I did. The goal was 30 pounds. I wanted a baby. I started to eat right. I started to exercise. I lost that 30 pounds. Within that 6 months that I thought I was going to get pregnant,  I charted, had tests, waited and lost 30 pounds. But…I wanted a baby.

My husband and I had been trying for a baby for a year when I went to a woman’s retreat. I went up to be prayed over for the infertility and because I needed to know if I was pushing aside the one gift from God to be “selfish” in the pursuit of a second gift from God. The woman did pray over me. She said the ‘oddest’ thing to me. She said “Be patient. Wait on God’s timing. You will conceive again.” When? I wanted to know when? I wanted to shake the proverbial ball and know when.

My husband consented to be tested after a year and a half of charting and testing on my part. He was great. He was beyond great. He was super great. We left the doctor’s office and had a steak dinner to “celebrate” his test results. While this meant good news on that end, I was a tad jealous. That meant it was all my fault, in my eyes. I was the proverbial Rachel in this story. He could produce children, but not me.

That is when we did the round of shots. Right in the hip. For several days. I felt during that time I was going completely crazy. One night, I could have sworn one of the smoke detectors was going off. (It wasn’t.) I sweated all the time. I cried a lot. I was miserable. I felt like our lovemaking was just routine and just “let’s get it over with.” No joy. Nothing. Emptiness. And…I still got my period after all that. I cried for days.

I had one more test. One that hurt so bad that I thought my insides were being torn in two. We sat in the office. The doctor looked us right in the eyes and said “I’m sorry. You will never have children without going through in-vitro.”

I was done. I was done with having charts and tests and kits and everything. I told my husband that if we were going to make love again it was when we wanted to really make love. Nothing routine or empty. I cried a lot during that month. We made love once. I missed my period.

My doctor told me to come in. She said the fertility drugs were still messing with my body. She did an ultrasound. She told me to come back in two days. There was an egg sac, but because of the test she knew it wasn’t viable. They only way we could tell if it was viable was to wait for the heartbeat.

I started praying. I only told those very close to me what was happening because if the “egg” was stuck it would mean major surgery for me, and the “death” of the baby which devastated me even more. Two days I went back and was told to come back in two more days. They would know for sure by then. This time the waiting was horrific. I won’t even begin to tell you what my mind went through. I slept very little.

On June 6, 2001, I was once again waiting in a cold, dark room. For the first time in my life I prayed this prayer “God, I don’t know what to pray here. Whatever happens let it bring glory and honor to your name. Please intercede on my behalf. If this baby is viable, let this baby always bring glory and honor to You.”

The doctor began the ultrasound. I will never forget her words. “I don’t believe this. I don’t understand what happened here, but your baby is in the right spot and has a healthy heartbeat.” She turned the monitor and I saw this little beating heart. I said “All things are possible through God.” I do remember her going “Ummm Hmmm.” As if there had to be another reason why my unviable womb not just weeks ago had open up and accepted this little human being into it.

Today, Alexander is a healthy (and very tall) 14 year old boy who is a delight to everyone he meets. God has great plans for him.

The verse that I clung to after the woman’s retreat and all through his rocky pregnancy (which is another God-thing) is Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Secondary infertility is one of the most painful, dark experiences I walked through for many reasons. There is a God who goes before you. There are also women who have as well. He led me through this path so that I can share with you today that there is hope and healing. You are amazing. If you are struggling, you are not alone. I may not know your name, but I pray for you daily. One day you will share your story as well. Hang in there.

PS…I very rarely make cupcakes. I am not a crafty mom. I only take my kids to the zoo when it is cool weather or a birthday party. Funny what we pray when we are desperate.

~Kristina

Bio: My name is Kristina. I am a 41 year old Rockin’ Jesus Girl. I will be married to my husband Eric 22 years this August. We have three children. Hannah, who is 18 and going to start a new life at Valparaiso University as a Freshmen in Environmental Science. Alexander, who is 14 and going to start a new adventure this fall as a freshman in high school.  Jillian, who is 11 and going to start her new adventure in middle school as a 6th grader. While I spent many years as a special needs teacher, God had other plans for me and I have spent the last 7 years as a stay at home mom. The last 4 years, I have had the awesome adventure of driving a school bus for our local school district. In my spare time, I love to volunteer at my church in many different capacities with the coffee house being one of my favourite places to meet God and his people. My favourite motto is C.O.F.F.E.E. “Christ Offers Forgiveness For Everyone Everywhere”.  I know that God has great things planned for me and I am so excited to meet Him there. Every day. Every moment is a miracle and I love sharing it.