Written by: Melissa Longval
This is a story of a little girl with sandy coloured hair and big hopes for her future. She loved Hostess Cupcakes and chocolate milk. Outside was her favourite place to be, among the flowers and the trees.
This little girl was kind and gentle, but her home life was anything but. Her parents, busy with work, would often overlook her, especially when they were fighting…and they fought a lot. The little girl would run outside to her safe spot until the yelling quieted down.
But the tension at home never calmed down. It was always thick and present. It laced every interaction her parents had with each other. This stress started to wear on the little girl and over time, it changed her.
As she grew, in order to cope, she looked for ways to escape the conflict. There were many options to choose from—she chose alcohol. What she didn’t understand was how this alcohol couldn’t provide the escape she was hoping for. Instead it jailed her in a prison with more conflict and pain than she could have imagined.
As time passed, she did her best to control herself. She wore the brightest smile and would laugh and laugh. So many people never knew what kept her chained. Though the sandy haired woman had a family and friends, she was filled with so much pain.
She couldn’t face the prison, so she denied it. Ignored it. Tried to pretend it didn’t exist and in the process, she hurt those she loved most. Shame covered her and tried to destroy her. It lied to her and told her she was unworthy, unloved, ugly. It whispered that no one would ever love her if they knew her secrets. So she hid them deeper.
The beauty of this sad story, like all our stories, is that the end is not yet written. We have the blessing of allowing Jesus to write our endings. To surrender our pasts to Him and allow Him to remove our shame and redeem our stories. He will not give us a fairy-tale ending, but a good ending because Jesus is good and all He does within us is good.
Jesus will take our shame that threatens to destroy, and work it for our good. He rectifies our mistakes…makes good from bad.
Even if we end up in a real prison, Jesus advocates and intercedes for us. He replaces our shame with His love and washes us white as snow. There is no story too bad for Jesus to rewrite. After all, Jesus is the author of our faith.
Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. Isaiah 61: 7
Until next time,
~Melissa
This post caught me off guard as there are not many who write about the effects of growing up in a home with continual fighting. I experienced such an upbringing and turned to alcohol in my twenties to cope. I love the scripture that you quoted at the end and I am so thankful for a God who does not forget the suffering of His children. God bless you.
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Sweet Rosa…thank you so much for your honesty and I am so thankful that the scripture spoke to your heart! God is so kind and I am so thankful for His grace and His abundant kindness! God bless you Sister ❤
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Your transparency blesses me, Melissa. thanks for sharing your heart
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So real and honest. I can relate to this in similar ways. Yet He always loves us…and is still there writing our story. Thanks for sharing!
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