{Marriage Week} Love Your Husband. 

Written By: Trudi Gummelt

Have you ever looked to your husband to resolve an issue on your behalf?  You overextended your schedule, and now he has no dinner.  Pretty soon, his underwear is all wadded up in the hamper, bringing an odor I imagine would accompany Satan.

Ah yes – well, that makes sense.  There’s the devil himself, bringing all kinds of strife, and frustration.

As for you?  I think we both know your husband is right, and you should have been a more judicious planner of the schedule.

Did I say ‘you’ should have been?  Ahem!  So sorry….I meant me – I should have kept close watch on those infringers of time.

Truth be told, my husband is INCREDIBLE at picking up the slack for me.  I believe wholeheartedly that if I were to do a simple thing like, oh, I don’t know, communicate with him, the frustration level would all but disappear.  I am a reasonable person – reasonably speaking, of course.  If I make a commitment to discuss the unfortunate wrong turns down FRANTIC Lane, I will be painfully aware of how often I must have that conversation, which should have the effect of minimizing the originating problem. I pray this is so, anyway.

But, I want to talk for a moment about more far-reaching consequences to our actions of influencing our husbands.  These men are the ones gifted to us, to lead us like God does – NOT into temptation.

In Genesis 16, Sarai (later this would change to Sarah) complained to Abram (Abraham) about her lack of power to conceive children.  Keep in mind that God promised the two of them that their offspring would be innumerable.  But, dang it, that was years ago.  Good grief, how long is one expected to wait for a promise to come to pass?

“Look, husband. God has prevented me from conceiving. Here. Sleep with my handmaiden.”

It was a common practice in that day.  Let us not jump all over the trippy way she wanted to handle this conundrum.  And Abram most certainly should have stood up to her and refused this breach of trust of the Lord.  How do you suppose you would have treated him if he said no?

“Don’t you even think about looking at me for the next thousand years, mister!  Oh, you want dinner?  Well, there’s the slingshot.  Go out and find your dinner, mister ‘let’s-trust-God’.”

Bless their hearts, and bless our hearts.  We all lack a little in the trust department, especially in certain areas of our lives.  She knew God had prevented her, but she asked Abram to solve the problem.

Ever had a solution actually bring problems….like, PROBLEMS?!

I encourage you to get that Bible out and read the rest of the story of Abram and Sarai, because God blessed them anyway.  They had to deal with intense strife from that moment on, even nations of people were – still are – at odds with each other.

Can you imagine?  You ask your husband to solve a problem for you that only God can; he is tempted.  He cannot watch you be so miserable, so he does that very thing you ask him to do.  What does that look like in your children as they grow up?  And how do they raise their children?

My excursion down this trail came because of my longing to quit my job for many years.  I had a growing desire to pursue dreams and passions.  I did not want to work at a job that required me to put a sock in my mouth, or had too much control over my life.  At times, I actually pouted about not being able to leave there.

My problem was with God.  And I knew it.  He said it wasn’t time.  I wanted it to be time.  Therefore, I was unhappy, and my husband hated that I was unhappy.  He was tempted on more than one occasion to tell me it was okay to quit the job.

What would that have done?  Well, I know what it is doing now, now that I HAVE left that job at the right time.  It is still a huge leap of faith.  But my husband and I have never fought about money (he refuses to), and to rush God’s plan would have brought the stink of the devil in to my marriage.

If you want another story in the Bible of a wife who let her desire cause stumbling in her husband, take a look at Genesis 3, and Adam and Eve.  That’s a sobering thing.

Our men are like our houses.  If we take care of the house, it will shield us well from the rains and winds, and scorching sun.  But, if we are not careful, it would be like we are throwing eggs, and hand grenades, and rocks at the bricks and windows.  Now what are we gonna do when the storms come?  Let us love our husbands so much that we refuse to let our desires interfere with their leading.  God can take up our causes with our men.  Seriously, we are already going to deal with conflict and strife…why in the world should I add more?

About Trudi: 


Trudi currently lives in the DFW area, pursuing her dream of writing and speaking on topics to inspire and reignite passion in the hearts of the people. She worked in the dermatology field for eighteen years before starting her own business, which has allowed her the freedom and flexibility to live on mission. She met her husband more than twenty years ago, and he has been a true man of honor and faithfulness. They have a son, Stephen, who lives in Fayetteville Arkansas. Trudi is very involved in We Are Cherished ( which is a ministry that reaches out to women in – or out of – the sex industry. She also loves to sing, to read, and to have coffee or tea with friends – not necessarily in that order.


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